


Celestial Sensations

by waitwhathuh



Series: I'm Finding It Hard To Believe We're In Heaven [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Guardian Angel Sequel, Now featuring more sin, Wife Swap AU? Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitwhathuh/pseuds/waitwhathuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes troubles arise even after a happy ending. Between sorting out their issues, sick loved ones, and a scorn that haunts them both - Laura and Carmilla are going to need each other more than ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Celestial Sensations

**Author's Note:**

> I somehow managed to make this one about the same size as the first one. Will I ever learn?
> 
> Anyway, here's that sequel some of you wanted. I hope you enjoy it. It's mostly fluff with some angst thrown in here and there. Or is it angst with some fluff thrown in here and there? I don't know. The lines between fluff and angst kind of blur for me sometimes. Just view it with your eyes and find out. Or whatever.

"What exactly is your obsession with festive hats, Cupcake?"

Carmilla huffed, shifting the pink paper crown on her head so it wouldn't slip down over her eyes.

"It's your birthday. Sort of. My dad always made me wear these hats for my birthday. Even still. Had one ready when I visited him at the hospital on my last birthday." Laura stated.

"Is your father aware you're a grown woman and not a toddler?" Carmilla sulked, shoving the crown a bit again in irritation.

"I think that's something he still struggles with. So, I humour him! Which would be a _lovely_ gesture from a certain girlfriend of mine." Laura chided with a teasing smile.

"You're killing me, Hollis." Carmilla sighed, tilting her head to look at Laura. The crown fell over her eye again, and Carmilla didn't make an attempt to move it again. The battle was lost.

"Just think of it as a way to make it up to me for _not telling me your birthday was a week ago_." Laura's eyes narrowed, causing Carmilla to flinch. Whoops.

"I honestly didn't really think of it. Sorry, cutie." Carmilla tried to shrug it off, but Laura's face bunched up in that way Carmilla adored more than she would admit.

"Oh, you didn't _think_ of it so I had to find out when I was helping you fill out your tax forms." Laura placed her hands on her hips.

"Aw, c'mon, cutie. You can't get mad at me today. It's my birthday." Carmilla shot Laura a smug grin. She watched as Laura's complexion grew a few shades of red. She was really playing with fire here. Carmilla had seen Laura's wrath when dealing with her Mother and Ell. Carmilla tried not to shiver at the thought of being on the receiving end of that wrath.

" _A week ago_!" Laura snapped. She crossed her arms, looking away. "Ugh, you're obnoxious."

"I told you I'm sorry. And that I'd make it up to you." Carmilla offered before Laura took the paper crown and shoved it somewhere far less comfortable.

"You are. With the hat. Remember?" Laura pointed out, her smile returning. Carmilla groaned and sunk down in her chair. Not the kind of _making up_ she had in mind.

"I'm wearing it, aren't I?" Carmilla muttered. "You somehow managed to subtly manipulate one of your festive hats onto my head. I hope you're happy with yourself."

At first Carmilla was confused at the way Laura's face dropped into horror, and then it dawned on her what she said wrong. She was an idiot.

"Carm, if you really don't want to wear it… You know I'd never make you do anything you don't want to…" Laura seemed to close in on herself.

Carmilla pushed herself off he chair and quickly cupped Laura's face. "Hey. I wasn't insinuating- Fuck, I'm sorry." She groaned.

"And now you feel bad! Ugh, I turned this around on you, somehow! No, the fault is all mine. I shouldn't have forced you to wear the hat. It was stupid." Laura quickly ripped the crown off of Carmilla's head and pulled away, stalking to the kitchen.

"Laura- no- I _want t_ o wear it." Carmilla insisted, chasing after her. Laura whipped around.

"Do you really?" Laura questioned, and Carmilla froze.

"For you. If it makes you happy." Carmilla stated, and Laura groaned.

"See. This is the problem." Laura turned back around, dropping the hat into the garbage. "There. Now you don't have to wear it."

Carmilla's arms dropped to her side, the frustration at the sudden change of atmosphere filling her head with heat.

"Laura. It was just a paper hat." Carmilla scoffed.

"Yeah. Well." Laura's shoulders sunk, and she turned to Carmilla slowly. Carmilla felt her anger ebb away at the look on Laura's face. "I don't want you to feel like I'm ever manipulating you."

"You don't. Christ. I've never felt more free with you. With Ell – just, trust me. Now that I recognize it, I'd know if I'm actually being manipulated or not. I was just giving you a hard time about the hat because you're cute when you're irritated." Carmilla explained.

"Gee, thanks." Laura rolled her eyes.

"See. Cute." Carmilla smirked, striding forward and wrapping her arms around Laura's waist. "You are many things, Laura Hollis, but an exploiter of my wellbeing of toxic proportions you are not."

"You'd let me know, though. Right? If I ever exploited you?" Laura bit her lip. "I've just, I've been really trying hard not to. I know I can be pushy and sometimes I don't even realize the ways I might be maneuvering someone which I guess is a good quality for a journalist but-"

Laura stopped short from Carmilla's finger being pressed to her lips.

"Cupcake, you don't have to tip-toe around me. As pretty as that face is, I _can_ say no to it. Well, in most cases. Some activities I don't think I could ever say no to." Carmilla bit her smirk, her hand slipping down over the slope of Laura's hip. Laura's breath hitched in a way made Carmilla forget how to make her own lungs function properly.

"Great. Good. Because you're… you're your own person." Laura swallowed hard, clearly trying to ignore Carmilla's advances.

"Mhm. And my own person truly would've been fine with the hat. I can choose to make you happy if I want to, after all. Even if it's with a stupid hat. Because it was a tradition started by your doting father. I get it was important to you." Carmilla murmured. Laura let out a low grunt, lolling her head to the side.

"Now you tell me after I already impulsively threw it out." Laura sighed. Carmilla turned to look at her garbage can, and seeing as it was Carmilla's apartment where they were holding this _shindig_ , she knew she wouldn't want to fetch anything out of the bin of old leftover take-out.

"Yeah, I don't quite want to make you happy _that_ much." Carmilla grimaced, earning a light shove on the shoulder from Laura.

"Okay, you." Laura huffed before her eyes found the ground. "Sorry I ruined a portion of your birthday with my overzealous caution."

Carmilla felt herself melt again. This girl had a habit of turning her and any tough exterior she showed off into putty.

"Can't say I'm not happy that I have a partner who actually shows concern for my feelings. That's a nice change, and certainly a wonderful birthday gift." Carmilla smiled, which Laura returned along with a blush and slinked her arms around Carmilla's neck. "Besides, I happen to recall my actual birthday was quite enjoyable. Especially the evening I had with a certain someone."

"Is that so? You enjoyed that, huh?" Laura grinned, leaning in close. Carmilla caught Laura staring at her lips before her own eyes flitted down to look at the pink, inviting lips of Laura's mouth. "Then I think I know a way we can still save the evening…"

Hell. Yes.

"Are you referring to some sort of gift you have up your sleeve for the birthday girl?" Carmilla questioned, her hand bunching up the bottom of Laura's shirt to push it up slightly.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm referring to." Laura whispered, leaning up by Carmilla's ear. "Turn around and give me a minute."

Carmilla grinned but reluctantly turned around, not wanting to take her eyes off Laura just yet. But she did as she was told, picturing what Laura was cooking up for her. She bit her lip as she heard Laura shuffling behind her, imagining what flattering number Laura might be slipping into…

But wait, they were in Carmilla's kitchen. That seemed a strange place to keep articles of Victoria Secret clothing.

Carmilla realized this too late as Laura told her to turn around.

"Oh. A cake." Carmilla blinked.

"A cake made of _cupcakes_." Laura clarified. "Since you seem to like them so much, what with it being your favourite nickname for me and everything."

"I do like cupcakes." Carmilla gave Laura a genuinely grateful smile. "Sorry, I was just expecting a different kind of dessert."

"Oh, you'll get that too." Laura rolled her eyes.

"Hmm, truly the best birthday I could ever ask for. Cupcakes now, and I get to have a taste of my favourite Cupcake later." Carmilla husked, leaning in close to kiss Laura tenderly. Laura shivered under her touch. "Delightful."

"I… you… you… lady killer, you…" Laura stammered, her face growing ever redder. "Just hurry up and eat a cupcake."

"Only if you indulge in one with me." Carmilla smirked. Laura blushed, looking away.

"I would, but, well… the cake used to be bigger in perimeter…" Laura mumbled. Carmilla shook her head, taking a bite into the cupcake.

"I have no idea where you store all that sugar." Carmilla sighed, but eyed Laura with adoration. Carmilla was certain at least some of her glucose consumption seeped into Laura's personality.

Laura was about to reply with an undoubtedly witty retort, but she was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Strange. I don't remember hearing the buzzer." Carmilla started to turn to head to the door, but Laura held up her hand.

"No. You're the birthday girl. Stay here and finish your cupcake so we can get onto… other things." Laura stated. Carmilla smirked, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

"If you insist." Carmilla murmured while taking another bite of the cupcake. Another loud knock resounded on the door.

"Geez, they're impatient." Laura huffed, shuffling out of the kitchen. Carmilla eyed the way Laura's hips swayed slightly, and she smirked as she took another cupcake. She never imagined her life would fall in place like this, and it's all due to the determined, sprightly girl who demanded to thank Carmilla for saving her life.

Strange, being 25 and finally able to claim genuine happiness.

"Uh, excuse me, you can't just come in here." Laura sputtered from down the hallway. Carmilla furrowed her brow, poking her head around the corner. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"My, you're certainly spirited as far as hired help goes. Take my coat, will you?" Carmilla heard the voice and her ears perked up immediately. It couldn't be.

"Listen here, lady, I'm not some coat rack-" Laura started, but was prompted cut off.

"Carmilla, darling, are you in? I'm here to brighten your otherwise dull life." The voice continued. Carmilla quickly rounded the corner, a giant smile sprung on her face.

"Mattie!" Carmilla grinned, springing forward and taking Mattie into a big as Laura looked on in confusion.

"Oh there you are, sis." Mattie chuckled, swaying Carmilla from side to side.

"Sis?" Laura's eyes bulged. "This is Mattie? Your sister?"

Mattie released Carmilla and promptly turned on her hell toward Laura.

" _You_ shall refer to me as Matska, or Ms. Belmonde." Mattie demanded.

"Hey, be nice." Carmilla sighed. Not even a minute back into her life and Mattie was already asserting her authority.

"Honestly, Carmilla. Your maid isn't supposed to be your friend. Teach some manners, for god sake." Mattie rolled her eyes. Carmilla had never seen Laura's face go so red.

"I'm not a maid!" Laura flushed. Mattie looked at Laura from the corner of her eye.

"But you answered the door, and I'd assume with all the money that my little sis has got into, she wouldn't bat an eye at hiring a servant of some kind. If memory serves, she does tend to be a bit messy." Mattie declared, looking Laura over. "Plus your… outfit."

Laura's face somehow turned redder. Carmilla wondered if she should worry about Laura's blood pressure.

"First of all, _Mattie_ , button ups and high waisted pants are practical for any occasion. Second off, I'm not a maid, but even if I was that's no reason to treat me like dirt! Just because someone is trying to make a living wage does not mean that-"

"Mattie, this is Laura." Carmilla cut in. Mattie's eyes lit up.

"Ah, so you're the one who had your wife stolen away by Carmilla's _dearest_ ex-wench. Oh yes, Carmilla told me about you." Mattie looked over to Carmilla. "I'm surprised you're still in contact."

"You are?" Laura questioned, her anger deflating to make way for her confusion. Carmilla flushed. She wasn't expecting to have this conversation just yet.

"Well I assumed after you were saved from becoming road kill due to your lack of self-awareness, that would be the end of your acquaintance." Mattie huffed.

"Listen, I had just walked in on my wife cheating on me. I think a lack of self-awareness was completely understandable." Laura claimed and then turned to Carmilla. She looked a bit hurt which made Carmilla flinch. "Your sister really doesn't know about me?"

"Is there something to know?" Mattie inquired, raising an eyebrow. Carmilla took a breath. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off.

"Mattie," Carmilla took a step towards Laura, putting an arm around her waist. "Laura and I are together."

Mattie's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I… see." Mattie gauged them curiously. "Well I suppose it makes sense that you two would find comfort in each other's arms for a time."

"It's more than just 'a time', Mat." Carmilla sighed.

"So it's serious?" Mattie clicked her tongue. "Are you sure that's wise?"

"It's really not up to you." Carmilla darkened. "Please, Mattie, for once I'm _happy_. Can you not sully our reunion by going all 'big sister' on me by telling me I'm rushing into things and making a huge mistake?"

"Is that why you didn't tell me? You're afraid I'll judge you?" Mattie tilted her head.

"Are you not?" Carmilla challenged. Mattie gazed over them silently, her lips pressing tightly.

"Well, as you said, it's not my place. You are 25, after all. You can make your own decisions, as much as I still think of you as my little sister." Mattie mused.

"At least she knows when your birthday is." Laura muttered so only Carmilla could hear.

"Oh, shush." Carmilla gave Laura a quick kiss on her temple. She looked back to Mattie. "Thank you."

"But I am still your sister, so I _sincerely_ hope that this one is far better than the last one." Mattie strutted up to Laura, sizing her up. "For her sake."

Laura didn't back down, which impressed Carmilla. Not many people avoided cowering when Mattie turned on her intimidation factor.

"That's not something you have to worry about." Laura glowered. Mattie searched her eyes.

"We'll see." Mattie drawled. "If not, you'd always make a decent maid."

Carmilla had to wrap her other arm around Laura's waist to hold her in place, just in case Laura was about to pounce.

"Believe me, I am very happy to see you, but did you come around just to insult my girlfriend?" Carmilla sighed.

"Seeing as I didn't even know you _had_ one, no. Instead I'm here due to the information you _did_ relay to me." Mattie stated, resting her hands on her hips.

"For example…" Carmilla urged.

" _For example_ , the news of Ell. I never truly liked that girl, as I'm sure you recall." Mattie recalled. Carmilla sighed, resting her elbow on Laura's shoulder.

"I remember. Are you here to tell me that you told me so?" Carmilla muttered, but Mattie softened.

"On the contrary, darling, I'm here to apologize." Mattie smiled softly. "I had no idea you were so tangled in her net. I was on an entirely different continent for most of your marriage. If I had been around, perhaps I would have better been able to tell the signs."

"You had no obligation to me. I understood why you left." Carmilla shrugged.

"Which brings up my other point!" Mattie exclaimed. "When you told me of how both Mother and Ell conspired against you, why, I could barely believe it. The way they swindled you, and I was not here to stop it. I can't help but feel responsible."

"Again, you have no obligation to me." Carmilla mumbled, looking at the ground. She had missed Mattie, yes, but she didn't blame her sister for all her tribulations. That would be ridiculous.

"Of course I do. We're family. So, no more, I say. I'm here to prevent you from being taken advantage of again." Mattie stated, and Carmilla caught the way she eyed Laura cautiously. Laura caught it, too, as any indication by the way she stiffened.

"So you uprooted your life and came back here? That was unnecessary. I'm happy to see you, but I don't need to be coddled like a child." Carmilla glared. "Besides, I already have someone more than suitable enough looking out for my wellbeing."

Laura leaned in closer to Carmilla, and Mattie tilted her head up as she gazed at them.

"Indeed. But no, I wasn't implying I would be your bodyguard or something such as that. No, I'm here to offer a business agreement – coming from a place of sisterly protection, admittedly." Mattie offered. Carmilla cocked an eyebrow, interested in what Mattie had in mind. If anyone was good at business ventures, it was Mattie. Last Carmilla heard, Mattie was on the board of a very successful enterprise in Morocco. She probably made a grand just within the time she stood there talking to them.

"I'm listening." Carmilla nodded.

"You've begun writing again, yes?" Mattie inquired. "I'd like to be your agent."

"What?" Carmilla's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "What do you know about being a literary agent?"

"It involves getting the best deal from the best publishers, correct? If there's one thing you know about me, you know I can get the best transaction possible." Mattie grinned.

Carmilla thought on that for a moment. It was true. Mattie could be relentless when she wanted to be. She wouldn't be surprised if Mattie had all the publishers begging at her feet by the end of the month, even without experience.

Carmilla didn't care too much about getting the biggest dollar value, but it would be nice to work closely with her sister again.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on." Laura pipped up. "That sounds real nice and everything, but Carmilla just went through a situation where her family used her book to fund their own means. I'm not about to let that happen again." She glowered. Mattie's expression fixed into a snarl.

"You have some nerve. How long have you been in Carmilla's life? Two months? Three? How do I know if _your_ intentions are pure? After all, I'm certain dating an accomplished author would give you some credibility in whatever drab profession you've chosen for yourself." Mattie accused with venom in her tone. Laura left Carmilla's side to take a step closer to Mattie's looming form.

"You're right, you don't know my intentions. Clearly I can't convince you otherwise. But I'm the one who busted her Mother and Ell's conspiracy towards her wide open, and I'll do the same to you if I even sense that your taking advantage of even a hair on her head." Laura seethed. Mattie's lips twitched a little, and her body tensed in a way that showed she wasn't used to being shown such insolence.

"You're just some twerp! I'm her sister! I was in the delivery room the day she was _born_!" Mattie shouted.

"So was her _mother_ and look how that turned out!" Laura shot back.

Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose. At that rate, one of her neighbours was bound to call the police in suspicion of a domestic disturbance.

"Must the two most important people to me in the world fight on my belated birthday?" Carmilla groaned. Both Mattie and Laura fell silent. Carmilla took a deep breath. "Mattie, I do trust you and appreciate the offer. I just fail to see what you would get out of this arrangement."

"I think 10% should do. Money isn't a particularly large source of stress in my life." Mattie claimed, and she softened considerably once again. "And I truly do want to introduce myself back into your life, and assist you with the best assets I have. Perhaps neither of us won the parent lottery, but we still have each other. I never want that to change."

It pained Carmilla that she felt the urge to consult Ell over this decision. This was the kind of thing Ell would have the final say over, no matter what Carmilla wanted. Carmilla was truly trying to break the habit of depending on someone else, but it was moments like this which brought the helplessness flooding back.

She hated herself for looking at Laura for some sort of permission.

Laura locked eyes with her and she tilted her head, the look in her eyes filled with affection. Carmilla could tell Laura knew what was swimming through her head.

"Carm, it's up to you. Whatever you want. This is your career, your life. You have the say on what's best for you." Laura encouraged, and Carmilla's heart swelled.

It actually caused her to fight back some emotion that this wonderful girl allowed her to take hold of her own destiny, unapologetically. The same wonderful girl who believed herself as some sort of tyrant before over a paper crown.

Of course Carmilla knew now something like this was normal in a relationship, but it still meant the world to Carmilla after her past experiences.

Carmilla fought the urge to kiss Laura and turned to Mattie.

"Okay. You're my agent. But only because it means _I_ get to be your boss for once." Carmilla smiled, and Mattie laughed and clapped her hands together.

"Naturally! You take the reins on all the writing and I'll make sure people claw each other to shreds for every word you write. I trust your newest manuscript is coming along nicely?" Mattie inquired, and Carmilla winced subtly.

"Yeah, definitely." Carmilla nodded slowly.

"Perfection. I'll expect some excerpts, just to see the direction your headed and weigh my options. Plus there's the terms of how you want to be represented, social media presence, events to gain you visibility…" Mattie counted off her fingers and Carmilla's eyes widened. She just wanted to write. She wasn't expecting so much professionalism at once. Laura took notice.

"Uh, maybe you should take it one step at a time." Laura quipped, linking her fingers with Carmilla's. Mattie looked between the two of them and shifted her purse on her shoulder.

"Of course. I have some things to sort out myself as we take on this exciting new venture together. I'll contact you at a later time to meet and talk business?" Mattie requested.

"For sure." Carmilla nodded, grateful she didn't have to think about all of this now.

"Excellent." Mattie clicked her tongue. "Laura, dear, may I please have my coat back?"

Laura looked down, surprised she still had it tucked under her arm.

"Oh, right." Laura quickly unfolded it and held it out for Mattie to put in on.

"See? You'd make a marvelous maid. You should keep it in mind." Mattie winked, and Laura's face scrunched up again. "Tata, darlings. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. I'll be in touch."

Mattie sauntered out the door, letting the resonating slam behind her in a way that made it almost announce her departure. Laura immediately whipped around towards Carmilla.

"She's a ball of fun, isn't she?" Laura huffed.

"You know, I was hoping when you two met that you'd get along better." Carmilla drawled, taking Laura in her arms.

"She's infuriating. How did you handle having her as your sister?" Laura muttered. "Which, by the way, she's not like how I expected in several ways."

"Noticed that, huh?" Carmilla smirked. "You caught me, deductive journalist. She's really my stepsister, but she might as well be my own blood. She wasn't lying when she said she was in the delivery room."

"So I'm guessing your mom married her dad?" Laura questioned.

"Mhm. And then Mother dearest cheated on him with whoever my father was, which frankly could be any of several men. Funny how karma's a bitch to one generation down." Carmilla explained thoughtfully. "Anyway, Mattie's father died in a car accident not long after their divorce, and my Mother adopted her. Probably the only truly kind thing my Mother has ever done."

"Oh. I guess she's been through a lot." Laura frowned. "Not that that gives her an excuse to step all over me and the working class, but still."

"Yes, I'm sorry about that. Mattie can be… abrasive, but her heart's in the right place when it comes to me. We were close growing up. She's the first person I came out to. She was even the person who suggested to write a book in the first place. I was devastated when she left for Morocco, but if I had gotten the opportunity she had, I would have left Mother in a heartbeat too." Carmilla recalled wistfully.

"So you trust her." Laura confirmed, and Carmilla nodded. "Okay, then I will too. I can't promise I'll get along with her, but I'll trust her."

"You're amazing, you know that?" Carmilla smiled warmly, making Laura blush. "I apologize I didn't tell her about you. Being judgmental is not one of her more positive traits."

"I get it. LaF and Perry seemed supportive but even they think it's a little soon for us to jump into a relationship." Laura mumbled about the friends Carmilla still had yet to meet. "I think unless you're us or my dad, people are a little skeptical."

"Well, we'll just have to prove them all wrong, won't we?" Carmilla cooed, leaning in to kiss Laura tenderly. Laura melted against Carmilla's lips, her soft sigh vibrating against them.

"Who cares what anyone thinks? This feels-" Laura grasped the back of Carmilla's neck, nipping down on her bottom lip hungrily, "-too right."

"Mmm, the way this night is progressing feels right as well." Carmilla nudged her nose against Laura's and nuzzled down to trail kisses along Laura's jaw.

"But – um – what about the cupcake cake?" Laura shuddered, clutching at Carmilla's sides.

"It'll be there when we're done." Carmilla growled, biting at the skin of Laura's neck gently.

"If we're ever done." Laura moaned, tipping Carmilla's chin up to meet her lips once again.

"I'll take you up on that challenge." Carmilla grinned, nudging Laura back towards the bedroom as she slowly unbuttoned Laura's shirt.

Despite Mattie's disapproval of Laura's attire, it drove Carmilla crazy to see a section of Laura's skin more exposed to her at each pop of a button.

"You don't think I look like a maid, do you?" Laura murmured against Carmilla's lips. Carmilla sighed as she ran her hands over Laura's stomach.

"No, sweetheart." Carmilla pushed the shirt off Laura's shoulders and looked her over. Lacy bra. So Laura did have some presumptive plans for tonight. "Although if you ever wanted to greet me in a sexy maid costume, I wouldn't mind. Then again, I'd find you sexy even in a chicken suit."

Laura leaned back, giving Carmilla a questioning look while seeming to fight the urge to laugh. "I didn't know you were into some weird roleplaying stuff, Carm." Laura teased. Carmilla groaned, rolling her eyes.

"Clearly your mouth needs a bit more distracting." Carmilla growled, capturing Laura's lips in hers again. Laura giggled into the kiss, tugging at the bottom of Carmilla's shirt. They only broke the kiss for a moment to allow Laura to yank it off, and then Carmilla toppled over Laura onto her bed.

She pushed off Laura for a moment, hovering over her, and let her eyes graze over the image of Laura underneath her. Carmilla swallowed hard looking at Laura's heavy eyes peering up at her, the slow rise and fall of her chest from the slight need to take in extra oxygen, the way her lips were slightly puckered and waiting…

And her skin, so smooth and it practically glowed. Laura radiated light – a light that led Carmilla out of what she once thought was a hopeless situation.

This woman was so beautiful, so nurturing and strong and at times irrational and headstrong and she challenged Carmilla to be a better version of herself. And Carmilla was so lucky to have found her.

"Carm?" Laura questioned, her hand reaching up to touch Carmilla's cheek. "You're crying."

"What?" Carmilla blinked, not noticing the tears pooling in her eyes. Laura flinched as a drop splashed against her cheek, and Carmilla quickly wiped her own eyes with her arm. "Dust, I guess."

Carmilla leaned back down to trail kisses along Laura's bicep slowly, leading up to her collar bone. Laura made a small sound of approval at the action, but Carmilla knew better that Laura wouldn't drop Carmilla's sudden display of emotion.

"You okay?" Laura whispered, tangling her hand in Carmilla's hair. Carmilla sighed, leaving a wet kiss on Laura's collarbone again.

"You ever hear of Stendhal?" Carmilla asked. Laura slowly shook her head. "He was a French author in the 19th century. One time he visited the Basilica of Santa Croce in Florence and saw the frescoes of Giotto di Bondone. He was so overcome at the sight of the artwork that he began to shamelessly weep. He said it was as if he reached the point where one encounters celestial sensations."

A blush creeped up into Laura's face as well as a wry smile.

"Carmilla Karnstein, are you saying I'm so beautiful that I make you cry?" Laura giggled. Carmilla smiled, leaning down to kiss Laura softly.

"Maybe." Carmilla whispered. "That, on top of my sister reappearing, and you throwing me a thoughtful little birthday celebration despite me not even telling you about it…"

Carmilla bit her lip, and Laura traced Carmilla's jaw with her fingers to pull her down for another kiss. Carmilla released a shuddered breath, feeling the emotions bubbling up again. Get a grip, Karnstein.

But if there was anyone in the world she'd show this softer side to, it'd be Laura.

"I'm sorry again that I didn't tell you about my birthday. I know it's odd that I didn't even mention it. I'm just – I'm working on not apologizing for taking up space." Carmilla muttered, her forehead resting against Laura's. Her throat caught and she fell silent, hoping Laura would get what she meant.

Ell always made Carmilla feel like a burden – something not worth being celebrated.

Laura's hands crawled up Carmilla's back to embrace her, pulling Carmilla on top of her. Carmilla closed her eyes and let her head rest on the pillow and buried into Laura's hair. She started counting the thumps of Laura's heartbeat against her chest, and how the rhythm matched up with the beat of her own heart.

"You should never apologize for that." Laura murmured. "Because the space you take up in my life is irreplaceable."

Laura's arms tightened around Carmilla and her fingers clawed at her skin, almost desperately.

And again Carmilla wondered who the _frilly hell_ would ever choose to leave this girl?

* * *

"A screwdriver, please."

Carmilla fought the urge to roll her eyes. Wow, Vodka and orange juice. How exciting. What a challenge. A screwdriver will truly test her limits as a bartender.

Carmilla quickly fixed the drink and slid it over to the customer, exchanging the money in turn. She sighed, leaning back against the counter.

"For once I'd like someone to come to me with something more creative. Like something with different layers or something you set on fire. Where are those drink orders?" Carmilla groaned.

"You're just complaining because it's a slow night and you're bored." Mel commented as she walked by.

"So bored." Carmilla muttered.

"Yeah, it'd like, super suck if someone ordered one of those crazy drinks while it was busy." Kirsch, her bartending co-worker, added.

"Won't happen either way. This place borders too much in the 'dive' category for anyone here to truly be outlandish with their orders." Carmilla lolled her head to the side.

"I resent that remark! This is a classy establishment!" J.P., her boss and the owner, shouted from the back. Carmilla groaned.

"If you're so unhappy, you could always just quit. Didn't you get into a bunch of money or something?" Mel questioned.

"No! Absolutely not! We need all hands on deck!" J.P. again shouted from the back. Carmilla could swear he had this place wired with the way he heard everything.

"Oh yeah, clearly we're hanging on by a thread." Carmilla gestured at the mostly sparse bar. "Having the me _and_ Beefcake here is a little bit of overkill, don't you think?"

"It's still early! The rush is yet to come!" J.P.'s disembodied voice called out. Carmilla huffed, wondering why he couldn't just come out and talk to them instead of hiding in the back.

"And yes, I'm slightly more financially stable now. But unfortunately, I don't know when my next paycheque after that will be coming in and I'd like to stay financially stable. So, here I am." Carmilla gestured at the floor. "Besides, I might as well keep busy."

"Good thing, too. This bar just wouldn't be the same without your moody ass bringing the whole atmosphere down." Mel stated as she approached the bar, earning a sneer from Carmilla. Mel placed down a strip of paper from her notepad. "Two gin and tonics."

"Oh yes, that truly satisfies my craving for a bartending challenge." Carmilla scowled, getting to work on the drinks.

"Yo, Mel's right though. You're like family!" Kirsch gave Carmilla a big smile, which Carmilla rolled her eyes at. Kirsch's smile faltered. "Although you are a little crankier than usual today."

"No lies there, Bro-For-Brains. Something's eating our little princess of darkness." Mel tilted her head, looking Carmilla over. Again, Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"You using that psychology degree to figure out what's going on in my kingdom of apathy?" Carmilla scoffed, sliding the drinks toward her.

"I don't need a psych degree to tell what's wrong. It's that new girl of yours, isn't it?" Mel teased, and she had a look of victory when Carmilla tensed and she walked off with the drinks.

"Dude, did you two like, have a fight or something? 'Cause that'd really suck. I liked Laura! Even if she was a little nerd… but she was a hottie, so, you know." Kirsch laughed to himself, and Carmilla seriously thought about spraying one of the taps at him.

"We didn't fight." Carmilla grumbled.

"Then what's the problem!?" J.P. chimed in from the back. Carmilla gritted her teeth and reared her head towards the direction of J.P.'s voice.

"My _problem_ is that _somebody_ gave me a shift on a slow day while there's a perfectly good other bartender to handle it. Meanwhile, Laura's-" Carmilla stopped herself, shaking her head. "Forget it. It's none of any you nimrods' business."

"Well is she okay?" Mel questioned, looking concerned as she came back over. Carmilla sighed. Those guys, as annoying as they were, were always really good to Laura whenever she swung by. Laura was actually starting to strike up friendships with them.

"All you guys need to know is that Laura is currently somewhere meeting someone and it might be a little hard for her, and I should be with her. But I'm not. I'm here." Carmilla mumbled.

"Is she meeting her ex? That would explain why you're Miss grumpy leather pants." Mel questioned.

"She's _not_ meeting her ex. Would you stop prying?" Carmilla groaned, and Mel held up her hands.

"Alright. But only if you cut the bad attitude." Mel claimed. Carmilla sunk down to her elbows resting on the bar.

"Fine." Carmilla complied. She was really only mad at J.P. anyway.

Then she heard a sniffle next to her and looked up to see Kirsch looking teary eyed.

"Bro, you called me 'perfectly good'. That's the nicest thing you've ever said about me, bro. You're a real bro." Kirsch croaked. Carmilla lowered her head to the bar and wished she could fast forward time. Or just drink the entire contents of the bar.

Laura was at the hospital getting an update on her father's condition. He'd deteriorated a lot in the last month, and although Laura put on a brave face, Carmilla could tell it was really weighing heavy on her shoulders – especially since Laura's DNA was supposed to be helping him get better.

No luck so far, and at that moment she was receiving news on their next steps, and perhaps if her dad can be saved at all.

Carmilla should've been with her.

But instead she had to wait to see Laura after her shift when the bar closed at 2am, if she was still up at that hour. Carmilla knew Laura would text her with the news, but that's not the same as being with her, being able to touch her, kiss her, wipe away any tears.

Honestly if Carmilla got a text with bad news, nothing would stop her from dropping everything and running out on her shift. J.P. could fire her all he wanted.

Carmilla continued to work the hours away, still wishing a costumer would order a complicated drink to help distract her. Still no news from Laura, but no news is supposed to be good news, right?

The bar traffic finally picked up around 7pm. There was some sort of big hockey game on and Carmilla figured this was what J.P. was anticipating. It kept her a little busier, but it was really starting to grate on Carmilla that she had yet to hear a peep from Laura. Surely she would have news by now?

A girl sauntered up to the bar. Platinum blonde, which made Carmilla fight a scowl at the sight of her. Just like Ell. The other thing that made Carmilla scowl was that this girl was clearly already wasted.

"Hey, you." The girl slurred.

"Kirsch, can you get this one?" Carmilla called out, turning away. But the girl grabbed her arm.

"No, no, no. I- I want _you_." The girl claimed, her eyes wide and glossy. Carmilla groaned, turning back.

"Alright, so what are you drinking? A water? You clearly need a water before you puke over my bar." Carmilla leered, scooping ice into a plastic cup and filling it up.

"Ooh, kitty comes with a little bite, huh? Me-yow!" The girl hissed. "That's okay. I like biting."

And the night keeps getting better and better.

"Fascinating." Carmilla drawled. "Here's your water. Goodbye."

"Wait, wait, wait… wait." The girl slapped her hand down on the bar. "I didn't get your name, babe."

"Not interested." Carmilla stated. "Next, please."

"Playin' hard to get?" The girl laughed sloppily. "My name's Elsie, by the way."

"You are just full of fascinating facts that I literally could not give less of a fuck about." Carmilla glowered. "Can _someone_ other than this chick please order a drink?"

Elsie reached forward, grabbing Carmilla's arms.

"I'm sorrrrry, am I being too forward? It's just you're so pretty…" Elsie leaned in close.

"If you don't remove your hands in two seconds, you're going to lose them." Carmilla warned, but Elsie just laughed again.

"I can think of a few places to lose my hands." Elsie winked.

That did it. That girl was about to fly out of the bar on her ass.

Before Carmilla even got to act, Elsie was yanked away. She was pulled face-to-face with a very angry Laura.

"I'm doing you a favour. She was about to rip your head off. But if you keep pestering her, I'm going to let her and then personally shove your severed head where you might 'lose' it. Got it?" Laura growled. Both Carmilla and Elsie blinked rapidly in surprise.

"Geez, what a buzzkill. Whatever." Elsie scoffed, stumbling off into the crowd. Laura watched her for a bit, flexing her hands, before turning to Carmilla.

"You get people like that often?" Laura muttered.

"They're unfortunately pretty common." Carmilla admitted. "But as you said, I can usually handle it. Although the look on her face was priceless so I appreciate the help, cutie." She smiled, walking out from behind the bar and approaching Laura. "How did everything g-"

"She was cute." Laura said suddenly. "I mean, if she wasn't so drunk she might've been a bit more alluring. I bet you meet interesting, attractive people here all the time trying to get your number."

Carmilla crossed her arms, looking at Laura with confusion.

"Yes, but I don't give my number out to just anyone, Cupcake." Carmilla stated.

"And what if you met someone else who wasn't just 'anyone'? What if you found someone you were tempted to give it to? Someone prettier… smarter…"

Carmilla grasped her hand around Laura's wrist and leaned in close, a serious expression slapped on her face.

"Come with me." Carmilla ordered, dragging her past the bar.

"Hey, Laura! Where you two going?" Kirsch questioned as he watched them pass.

"Cover for me." Carmilla barked, and dragged Laura down a back hall and into the storage closet. She released Laura and wheeled around to stare at her in bewilderment. "What is with you?"

Laura pulled her fingers through her hair, her eyes wide.

"I-I don't know. I don't know what came over me. I'm not usually the jealous type, I swear." Laura groaned. "It's just, I came in and I saw that blonde girl all over you and I guess I just… I snapped. I'm sorry."

Carmilla softened, stepping closer to Laura.

"Last time you walked in on a blonde girl with someone you were in a relationship with, it turned out pretty devastating for you." Carmilla nodded slowly. "I get it."

"I don't!" Laura exclaimed, resting against the concrete wall. "That was no reason to accuse you of being unfaithful. I know you wouldn't- I trust you, I just-"

"Laura," Carmilla strode forward to cup Laura's face in her hands, "it's okay, sweetheart. No harm done."

"Yes, harm done." Laura sighed. "I really do trust you, but still the jealousy monster came out and I got all territorial and- ugh, I acted like an idiot."

She tried to pull away but Carmilla held her in place.

"Hey, Laura, look at me." Carmilla whispered, and Laura's eyes slowly found hers. "No one. Could compare. To you. There is not one person on this earth that I would trade you for. Not one. Not ever. It'll always be you." Carmilla cooed. "And I'll say that as many times as you need to hear it. Whenever that jealousy monster comes out, let me know. I'll fight it back until it doesn't bother you anymore."

"Carm…" Laura sniffed, falling into Carmilla with a hug. "Sorry."

"Don't be, cutie. I got you." Carmilla murmured, stroking Laura's hair.

The door to the storage closet flew open and in stormed Carmilla's boss in all his suit vested glory.

"Miss Karnstein, I implore you. We have an onslaught of parched customers and Mr. Kirsch is floundering while you're in here-" J.P. paused to survey the situation, observing Laura tucked into Carmilla's arms while Carmilla glared at him. "…canoodling?"

"So fire me." Carmilla challenged. J.P. cleared his throat, adjusting his collar nervously.

"Well… er, finish up, if you would please. I would greatly appreciate your cooperation." J.P. sputtered.

"Sure thing, chief." Carmilla took her hand out of Laura's hair to give him a mock salute. Flustered, J.P. righted himself and left the room. Laura slowly removed her head from Carmilla's shoulder.

"Is he the boss here, or are you?" Laura questioned.

"It's debatable." Carmilla smiled. Laura shook her head before resting it back into the crook of Carmilla's neck. "So, now that we've dealt with that, will you tell me how things went at the hospital? I've been worried."

"Oh, right. The other reason I'm… crazy." Laura backed up, wiping her eyes of any stray tears that might've leaked out. "He's not doing well, Carm. I've never seen him look so weak. He's just wasting away." Laura looked at the ground, hugging herself, while Carmilla rubbed her arm gently. "I couldn't wait to see you til you got off work, so I just dropped in because I-"

Laura's voice cut off and she leaned into Carmilla again.

"I'm so sorry." Carmilla sighed, embracing Laura tightly. Carmilla stood there holding Laura for a few minutes in silence, not worrying about how J.P. was probably popping a blood vessel somewhere. Eventually Laura released a shuddered breath and she jumped back, something resembling a smile on her face, as if the world wasn't crumbling around her.

"But they said there's still something they can try. It's… kind of scary, but if it'll help my dad, I'm up for it." Laura stated. Carmilla tensed, resting her hands on Laura's shoulders. She had been worried about how intense these tests would become – if they'd end up hurting Laura.

"What is it?" Carmilla questioned gently. Laura shook her head.

"Carm, don't look so freaked out. It's not a big deal. Promise." Laura assured her. "They just want a bone marrow sample. It's a little more invasive than anything they've done so far, but it should be fine, right?"

"Right." Carmilla nodded slowly. "As long as you're okay with it."

"I have to be. He's my dad." Laura muttered, her lip quivering a bit.

"I know, Cupcake." Carmilla cooed, stroking Laura's forearms with her thumbs. "And I'll be with you when you get it done, if you want."

"Could you?" Laura looked up at Carmilla, her eyes glistening.

"Always." Carmilla promised. Laura smiled warmly, and again she went to wipe her eyes.

"Crap. I'm such a mess tonight." Laura groaned. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"Please. This is what we do. We lean on each other when we need it." Carmilla scoffed. "Right? This is how a healthy relationship works? I know I'm new to this but I think this is how it should be." Carmilla winked. Laura chuckled, cupping Carmilla's cheek.

"Yes. This is exactly how it should be." Laura whispered, shaking her head. "Exactly what I need."

Laura leaned in to kiss Carmilla gently, but Carmilla gently nibbled on Laura's lip and the moan that suddenly escaped Laura's throat awoke a flood of need into both of them as they deepened the kiss. Laura's hands ran over Carmilla's back, pushing the fabric of her shirt up and allowing her fingers to graze over Carmilla's skin. Carmilla felt herself being pushed back until she hit a shelf, the contents shaking from the impact.

Carmilla was slightly surprised at Laura's sudden bout of enthusiasm, especially since they were in public right now. And at Carmilla's place of employment. But her girlfriend was needy right now and she didn't particularly want to deny that. Besides, there was something exciting about the situation. It's not like Carmilla depended on keeping this job anymore…

"Oh, hell no."

The voice from the door snapped Laura and Carmilla's attention from each other. They looked over to see a very furious-looking Mel.

"J.P. might be a push over, but there ain't a chance in hell I'm going to stand by and let you two do the nasty in a place where all of us have to traverse at some point." She glared. Carmilla raised her eyebrow, slightly disgruntled at the interruption. Laura, however, blushed and turned away.

"Sorry. Won't happen again." Laura promised.

"Better not. Now get out here and do your damn job." Mel barked, stomping away from the storage closet.

"Rain check?" Carmilla chuckled. Laura giggled, kissing Carmilla on the cheek.

"Can I hang out here until the end of your shift and spend the night at your place?" Laura requested.

"Of course." Carmilla murmured, putting an arm around her and leading her out.

Laura sat on a barstool nearby while Carmilla served customers the rest of the night, and every time someone tried to make a pass at Carmilla, she would lock eyes with Laura and take in Laura's bright smile. Because nobody else deserved Carmilla's attention more.

And Kirsch was grateful for Carmilla's much brighter mood.

* * *

Carmilla wondered if she continued to glare at he laptop screen if she could intimidate the right words to appear on the Word document.

No such luck on that strategy in the prior fifteen minutes, but she could always glare harder. It would be better than continuing to brainstorm plot points and coming up with fuck all. At least, nothing she wanted to write. Nothing that felt like it would belong in her next book.

She sighed, scrolling back and reading through what she already wrote, hoping that might spark some inspiration on an actual direction to take this stupid piece of literature.

Bullshit. It was all bullshit.

Carmilla scanned over each word, none of them landing like she wanted. She might as well have been reading webdings with how much she connected to what she had wrote. Sure, her prose was better, but she didn't feel any investment in her words this time around. Not like Queered And Feathered had.

She fought the urge to snap her laptop in frustration and looked up at Laura, who was at her desk and typing away at her computer. Yeah, despite Carmilla having her own place now, she still preferred to sit on Laura's couch while she wrote. Mostly because of moments like these where she desperately needed a reprieve.

Perhaps Laura's place wasn't always the most productive choice, as Laura could prove quite the (welcome) distraction, but seeing Laura sitting there helped to set Carmilla at ease.

Laura was focused on her own writing – something she was passionate about. Nothing stopped Laura when she found something worth venting about. The poor BuzzFeed editor surely would have to cut several lengthy paragraphs of Laura's spiel. And a couple relevant gifs.

Carmilla sighed again, figuring she didn't have to bother Laura at the moment. Instead her eyes fell upon Laura's bookshelf. It was a smaller bookshelf than what Carmilla owned and was full of stories of dystopias and 19th century scandals. In the middle of one of the shelves, Carmilla spotted it. Queered And Feathered, C. Karnstein. Right next to The Price Of Salt, another book that Laura had told her was important to her journey with her identity.

That still baffled Carmilla. Her writing had touched Laura's life and she supposed it may have touched many lives according to Laura, but Laura was the first she had heard from who found the book important. And Carmilla knew as much as she was Laura's girlfriend first and admired author second, she also felt a sort of obligation to live up to Laura's expectations. That's why she refused to show Laura anything she had written so far. It wasn't worthy.

And then there was Mattie. Carmilla was beginning to regret letting her be her agent. Mattie had been pestering her for an excerpt, but there was nothing Carmilla could in good conscience allow Mattie read as a guide for what direction Carmilla was heading in. Not when she was debating deleting the entire thing and starting from scratch – a notion that Mattie would flip at.

Carmilla pushed her hair back, wondering what the harm of a little peek would be. She hadn't looked at Queer And Feathered since she published it. It wasn't a time Carmilla particularly wanted to revisit, but perhaps it would help Carmilla find her writing muse again. Maybe she was still affected by Ell's opinion on her writing, and she needed a reminder of why she loved to write again.

Silently putting aside her laptop, Carmilla got up and slid the book out from the shelf. It was slightly worn, which made Carmilla smile. A book that's been flipped through many a time. A book that was loved.

She sat back down and noticed a dog-eared page. Carmilla furrowed her brow and let it fall open, beginning to read.

_It's seeped into your skin. Like tar. Burning away the fibres, leaving you exposed until you're nothing but charred bone. That's the experience of being queer under the eye of a community where the status quo is outrageous heteronormativity and where your feet land on the ladder of social hierarchy. To look at a woman and knowing you could love her more than these people love their status, that brings nothing but searing hot pain in this noxious environment. And then you're outed, and the only way your mother can save face is by making you an example to prove love is clearly not tolerated. To humiliate someone in the early modern period, one would first pour the tar over the body of the person so deserving, followed by the adding of feathers to make them a public spectacle. Truly an excruciating experience, but when you're dragged in front of a chapel and dunked into so-called "holy water" repeatedly while people looked on to scrub away a very integral piece of your identity, there is no difference in pain._

Ah, yes. The paragraph that would later inspire the title of her novel. Carmilla could recall writing it, tears splashing against the keys at each letter. The memory still burned at Carmilla's lungs, but it had been dulled with time. Writing it out had been cathartic experience. A middle finger to the universe as a thank you for her experience.

_The thing about identity is that nothing can scrub it away. No amount of religious tricks, medical treatment, literally being locked in a closet, or screaming can change that. For someone who was put through all forms of attempts at conversion, they know that all too well. The only person who can determine identity is the person in which it resides. It may be shy, it may disguise itself, and it may allow you to ignore it. But it's there, waiting. And it's yours, and nobody else's. It's something no one can take away from you, no matter how they may try. And someday, perhaps soon or in the far future, you'll meet people who understand the concept of identity. Someday, they'll allow you to love every part of yourself, as you should._

Carmilla swallowed a lump in her throat. That paragraph was the product of Carmilla's cathartic release, and clearly the reason Laura had dog-eared the page. When Carmilla first wrote it, she thought Ell might have been that person for her. How wrong she was. She wouldn't meet her person until years later, as that person carelessly ran into the road and needed saving.

She looked toward Laura's desk and was surprised to see Laura had slightly turned her chair to Carmilla and was staring at her intensely. When their eyes locked, Laura seemed to break out of a trance and smiled with a blush in her cheeks. Carmilla returned the smile.

"Need something, Cupcake?" Carmilla questioned.

"I was just admiring." Laura sighed. Carmilla's smile widened and she looked down bashfully.

"Care to admire from a closer distance?" Carmilla requested. Laura giggled and hopped up from her chair, striding across the room to plant herself on the couch and glued to Carmilla's side. Carmilla gingerly placed her arm around Laura while Laura snuggled her head onto Carmilla's shoulder.

"Is it a sign of vanity when an author reads their own work?" Laura chuckled.

"I think it's a sign that the author wrote something worth reading." Carmilla stated.

"So, vanity." Laura teased. Carmilla shifted her head to kiss Laura on the forehead.

"Can only blame yourself for that, creampuff. I wouldn't appreciate how this book turned out nearly as much if it weren't for you." Carmilla murmured. "I sort of envy this Carmilla. She had something to say."

"And present Carmilla doesn't?" Laura inquired, tilting her head up to look at Carmilla.

"If I do, I haven't found it yet." Carmilla muttered, looking back down at the book. She closed her eyes and purred slightly at Laura brushing Carmilla's hair behind her ear.

"You've been having trouble? Writer's block?" Laura questioned, and Carmilla huffed.

"No, that's the problem. I have a plethora of ideas flying around in my mind. My brain won't quiet down. And yet, none of them feel quite right. Instead I have twenty-one thousand words of utter mediocrity." Carmilla groaned, tapping the screen of her laptop. "I'm overwhelmingly frustrated."

"How long have you felt like this?" Laura asked gently, her eyes inquisitive.

"Since I began writing this drivel. I thought maybe if I pushed forward, I'd find my muse again. And now I'm just buried in a pit of mind-numbing nonsense and all I can think about is how stressed I am from Mattie breathing down my neck. I don't want to let her down. I don't want to let _you_ down." Carmilla seethed, but she paused and her anger ebbed into melancholy. "Just like I'm letting myself down."

Laura sat up on her knees, resting her elbow on top of the couch so she could pull her fingers soothingly through Carmilla's hair, her other hand squeezing Carmilla's thigh.

"Oh, Carm, I know you're frustrated. I would be, too." Laura sighed, nuzzling her nose against Carmilla's temple. "But you don't have to worry about disappointing me. It might take some time to find your muse, but when you do, I know you'll do something amazing with it."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cupcake, but I have less faith in my muse at this point." Carmilla muttered, leaning back against Laura's touch. "I'm at the end of my rope. I'm wondering if there was any point in going back into writing. Perhaps all I'm good for in the end is serving drinks behind a bar. Perhaps Ell was right about that."

Carmilla winced at the bitter tone of her own voice. Her own pessimism was grating on her nerves, which didn't help her outlook in the slightest.

"You're being too hard on yourself." Laura claimed, the movement of her hand stilling. She paused a moment, let out a sigh, and then pushed herself off the couch. "Come to bed with me."

Carmilla popped open one eye.

"Creampuff, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm really not in the mood for sex right now." Carmilla grumbled. Laura rolled her eyes.

"I figured that, you perv. Just come with me." Laura held out her hand. Carmilla looked at it, shrugged, and let Laura pull her up and into the bedroom. "Let's just… lie down and let ourselves turn our brains off for a while. No writing. No scary needles being put into my bones. Just… focus on relaxing. Quiet that mind of yours for a bit."

"I can try." Carmilla nodded, watching Laura crawl onto the bed. Laura opened her arms in wait, making Carmilla chuckle as she wriggled onto the bed and into Laura's embrace. Laura pulled Carmilla close to her chest, laying themselves down and letting only the sound of their breathing fill the room.

Carmilla's mind didn't exactly quiet, but it did dull to a much less-vexing rumble. She needed that moment with Laura, and Carmilla was certain Laura needed the moment as well. Based on what she said, Laura clearly wasn't looking forward to her bone marrow biopsy.

At least they had each other, no matter the stresses their lives threw at them. Carmilla was grateful for that.

Sinking into Laura at that moment, it amazed Carmilla how quickly her and Laura fell in place with each other. Carmilla didn't think much about fate or the idea of soul mates, but she figured that Laura came pretty close to making her believe.

Apparently Laura's thoughts were along the same vein.

"Hey Carm?" Laura said suddenly, snapping Carmilla into a bit of a groggy stupor. She hadn't even realized she had begun to sink into a slumber.

"Mhm?" Carmilla muttered.

"Part of me wishes we had met sooner," Laura paused, "and part of me is glad we didn't."

Carmilla's eyes popped open and she tilted her head away from Laura's chest to look up at her.

"Only so much of me you can take at a time, Cupcake?" Carmilla raised her eyebrow. Laura giggled.

"That's _so_ not what I meant." Laura pecked Carmilla on the forehead. "I just mean, I can't imagine how it would've complicated things."

"Care to elaborate?" Carmilla urged. Laura's mouth twisted, thinking.

"Say we met two years ago. You weren't in love with Ell anymore, but you were married. I was dating Danny and figuring I was going to spend my life with her." Laura bit her lip. "And then you come slamming into my life, and we connect just like we have. And it feels so right. I mean, I was in love with Danny for sure, but with us it's different, I guess, in a _good_ way. Almost like Danny was a key, but I was a combination lock, and you found the combination, and then-"

"Breathe, sweetheart." Carmilla chuckled. "Are you worried that if we had met sooner, Ell and Xena would've been the ones who were cheated on?"

Laura bit her lip. "I mean, I don't think we would've _cheated_ because I like to believe we're decent human beings, but like I said… it probably would've complicated things."

"Or you would've been too enamoured with your ginger giant that you wouldn't even give me a second glance." Carmilla teased, and Laura rolled her eyes.

"Please. If I didn't give you a second glance, it's only because I couldn't look away the first time I saw you." Laura scoffed. Carmilla felt the flush in her cheeks and she quickly hid her face back in Laura's chest.

"And you say _I'm_ the lady killer." Carmilla muttered, making Laura giggle.

"I have to have a couple of smooth lines." Laura stated, pulling her fingers through Carmilla's hair. "Anyway, I guess it's better this way, that we met later. Still would've preferred a little less adultery in the situation, but I like to think it worked out. Everything happens for a reason."

Again, Carmilla didn't think much of fate, but she inclined to agree.

"I suppose so, creampuff." Carmilla smiled warmly.

"Like the way we met… what are the chances that you'd happen to be outside of the gym where our ex-wives were currently cheating on the both of us and were there to stop me from running in front of a car?" Laura mused wistfully. Carmilla tensed, slowly looking back up at Laura, who had her eyebrow raised.

"I'm guessing you're not just going to pass that off as a very happy accident." Carmilla sighed.

"I _have_ been wondering."

"Alright," Carmilla groaned, pushing herself into a siting positon. "First of all, you can't get mad. I had no idea you existed at the time."

"Okay…" Laura gauged Carmilla curiously. Carmilla sighed again.

"I knew Ell was cheating on me." Carmilla admitted. "She wasn't particularly subtle about it. I guess, looking back, it was kind of a way for her to show me I wasn't good enough. A way to put me in my place. It worked, in a way. Despite me knowing she was cheating on me, I almost felt I deserved it. That's why I never left her, even though I now had just cause."

"God, every time you tell me something about her, I hate her even more than I previously thought possible." Laura huffed, squeezing Carmilla's hand. Carmilla's mouth twitched upward slightly. Ell was far behind her now, but the memories still haunted her.

"One day, I kind of cracked. Even if I wasn't in love with Ell, I wanted to know who captured her attention. Who had she found that was so much more deserving of her than I was. I just needed to know. So I went to the gym where she worked at. I knew it was one of her clients." Carmilla breathed. "I never even got to enter the building because, all of a sudden, this damsel in distress ran out and I had to save her cute ass."

"At least it was cute." Laura teased. Carmilla chuckled, placing her hand on Laura's knee before growing serious again.

"When you told me that your wife was having an affair… I just knew. Laura, if I had known before that Ell's mistress had a wife, I would've found you and told you. Believe that." Carmilla claimed firmly. Laura nodded.

"No, I know." Laura assured her, leaning forward to bump her nose gently to Carmilla's. Carmilla let out a shaky breath at the memory of realizing what Ell had done.

"That broke the camel's back for me. I saw this small, hurt girl and I knew Ell had done that to you without a second thought. I was so angry. I realized Ell wasn't the kind of terrible I wanted to be associated with anymore. And when you stood up to Danny for her infidelity, I finally found my strength to stand up to Ell as well." Carmilla mumbled.

"And then you turned into a grump who made me buy you _three_ orders of expensive bourbon." Laura huffed. Carmilla looked at Laura with a grin.

"You did offer, cutie." Carmilla chuckled. "And I'm glad you did."

Carmilla leaned forward to leave a light kiss on Laura's lips, and rested their foreheads together.

"And the fact that you happened to check the gym the same day I caught Danny and Ell in the act there?" Laura questioned.

"That," Carmilla started, "was indeed a very happy accident."

"Happy wouldn't be the word I'd use to describe the day. Probably fortuitous." Laura sighed. Carmilla closed her eyes, begging to differ. That was the day she became free. "Definitely one of those moments that happened for a reason."

"Mhm." Carmilla nodded, pulling Laura in for another kiss. Laura pulled away only to graze her lips over Carmilla's slowly.

"Maybe we didn't meet sooner, but I'll make the most of every moment I have with you now." Laura whispered.

Carmilla smiled, her eyes closed as she took in the sensation of Laura's breath brushing her cheeks, and the sweet smell of Laura's perfume.

If anyone thought they were too rash and were waiting for this relationship to crash and burn, they'd be waiting a while.

* * *

Carmilla woke up the next morning in an unfortunately empty bed. She groaned and rolled over to check her phone, seeing the reason why. 11:16am. Of course. Laura was an early riser. Although, sometimes she stayed in bed with Carmilla anyway if she didn't have something to do.

Carmilla could hear the sound of Laura's giggle coming from her living room. Suppose she had something to do.

She stretched, pushing herself out of the bed and tousling her bed head. She sighed, heading out into the living room. Laura immediately looked up from her computer and flashed Carmilla a smile, sending her a wave. Carmilla gave her a lazy half wave back.

"Who was that? Is that Carmilla?" A voice came from the computer.

Ah, that's why Laura was up. The ginger twins that Carmilla had yet to properly meet.

"Uh, yeah. Just got up." Laura answered.

"Just got up?" Came a much higher pitched voice from the computer. "It's 11am your time!"

"Carmilla works late nights. Her sleeping schedule is kind of set to that." Laura shrugged. She was right, and Carmilla was fine with that. Often when either of them stayed over at the other's place, Carmilla would get to stay up a little longer and watch Laura in her most peaceful state. The sound of her soft breathing and sleepy murmurs were better than any lullaby.

"Uh huh, I'm sure that's the reason she's kept up late." The other lower voice quipped. Laura blushed red.

"LaF!" Laura huffed, rolling her eyes. She turned to Carmilla as she was chuckling, heading to the bathroom. "Carm, do you mind coming to say hi when you're done?"

"Yeah, sure." Carmilla nodded, pushing her hand through her messy hair.

"Oh, do we _finally_ get to meet this mysterious new girlfriend of yours? How nice." The higher voice commented, although there was a bite of sarcasm.

"I'm sorry Perry, we've both been busy." Laura flushed as Carmilla closed the bathroom door behind her.

Carmilla knew Laura had been waiting to introduce her to her friends because she was nervous. Probably for the same reason Carmilla waited to tell Mattie about her relationship with Laura. There was a certain expectation that they both had to wait awhile to heal from their failed marriages. And they had waited. They had healed partially. It just might not have been long enough in some people's opinions.

She was also a bit nervous. These two were important to Laura, and Carmilla had a lot to prove to them. Carmilla knew they hadn't heard the most flattering things about her, and although those things have been disproved since then, she knew if she was across the ocean from Laura, she'd be worried as well.

Carmilla sighed, finishing brushing her teeth and ruffling her hand through her hair one more time. Well, time to prove she wasn't an asshole. No challenge there.

"I mean, you do science. Tell me a needle getting shoved into my hip to suck up a piece of my bone marrow is no big deal." Laura was saying as Carmilla left the bathroom.

"It's not a big deal." The low voice confirmed. "Although there's always the chance of infection. In which case you can lose your leg."

"LaFontaine!" The high pitch voice shrilled.

"What? You have to give them the worst case scenario." The LaFontaine voice stated.

Carmilla was no longer as worried about impressing these two.

She sauntered around the side of the desk behind Laura, who was groaning with her head in her hands. She slid her arms down over Laura's torso, resting her chin on Laura's shoulder as she observed the people on the screen.

"Are you two freaking out my girlfriend? You know you may sit all cozy up in England, but I have to deal with the anxious mess afterwards." Carmilla drawled.

The eyes of the two people on screen widened. Carmilla recognized them both just based on Laura's past descriptions. The one with the wild and crazy hair who looked like she was itching to organize a PTA meeting was Perry. The one with the short red hair was LaFontaine, or LaF for short. LaF was non-binary and went by they/them, according to Laura. Carmilla had to remember that.

"Oh. You must be Carmilla." Perry pipped up immediately, slapping on a polite smile.

"Must I be?" Carmilla raised an eyebrow. LaF had a bemused expression.

"Damn, Laur. When you sent us a picture before, I thought you photoshopped it or something. She really _is_ a looker." LaF chuckled. Laura flung her head up from her hands.

"Isn't she great?" Laura smiled, looking over at Carmilla warmly. "I'm still trying to figure out if she's real."

"Care to find out?" Carmilla murmured, leaning in close. Laura quickly closed the distance, taking Carmilla's bottom lip between her teeth and letting out a soft sigh of contentment.

"Okay, Crushes-On-Authors. We get it. You like her." LaF said eventually. Laura, not yet detaching from Carmilla's lips, opened her eyes to look back at her computer screen. She finally pulled away, blushing, while Carmilla bit her smile and didn't take her eyes off her.

"Sorry." Laura muttered. Perry looked as if she were about to have an aneurism.

"Right. Well." Perry cleared her throat. "So! Carmilla. Uh…"

"We heard you're _nice_." LaF jumped in.

"Oh, shut up, LaF." Laura chuckled.

"Oh really? Is that so?" Carmilla questioned. "Cupcake, have you been spreading lies about me?"

"You can also shut up." Laura glared. "She _is_ nice. Sometimes."

"Depends if I feel like it." Carmilla shrugged.

"Well, as long as you're taking care of our Laura." Perry sighed.

"I do my best." Carmilla nodded. "Although mostly I find she takes care of me."

"You'd be perfectly fine without me." Laura stated.

"Mmm, maybe. But I prefer not finding that out." Carmilla murmured, leaving a long kiss on Laura's cheek.

"Wow. You two are gross. Somebody get me a barf bag." LaF gagged.

"Oh, no. You don't get to complain. Remember when you two first got together? I couldn't walk into your dorm room without seeing you two acting out a sappy scene of a rom-com." Laura scoffed.

"Well, if someone had knocked first." Perry muttered.

"If _someone_ didn't enforce an open door policy as the floor don." LaF pointed out. "Besides, we ran into just as many awkward situations with you and Danny. In fact, I remember a specific time where it was more than a little awkward. Thank god your light was off."

" _LaFontaine_." Perry warned, but it was too late. Carmilla's hands had already bunched up the fabric at the bottom of Laura's shirt between her fingers, her head titling to rest her lips against Laura's shoulder as she had an inner battle with herself.

_Don't get jealous. Don't get jealous. There's absolutely no reason to be jealous._

Carmilla figured this was how Laura felt when she saw her with that Elsie girl.

Laura's hand crawled up and squeezed Carmilla's arm gently.

"Uh, sorry. What I meant was – remember that time I walked in on you two playing Jenga? Man. Intense, right?" LaF floundered.

"I apologize. Tact is not a common practice for LaFontaine." Perry gave LaF a scrutinizing glare.

Carmilla took a deep breath and looked back up at the screen. What better way to deal with emotional turmoil than with a snarky comment? "It's fine. I forgive Laura for her momentary lapse in judgement when it came to the Amazon."

"Well, it's not like Danny was _bad_. I mean, she turned out to make some horrible decisions, but back in school she was very kind and righteous. Laura practically fell over herself for Danny and the way she talked about modern literature and how she looked on the lacrosse field and-" LaF stopped when Perry elbowed them. "And I shouldn't talk. Ever."

Laura looked up at Carmilla, her eyebrows pulled back in concern. But she looked at a loss for words. Of course, what was she supposed to say? That it wasn't true? That she never liked – _loved_ Danny? Laura had said the night before that when she felt for Carmilla may have been a better fit for her, but Carmilla could never deny that Danny was a large part of Laura's life at one point.

She did her best to shove that jealousy monster back down.

"I'll be honest, if I ever ran into Clifford again I'd be tempted to break her legs for what she did to Laura." Carmilla sighed. "But I suppose I also owe her, in a way. She played a part in shaping the wonderful woman Laura is now. I wouldn't change that for anything. And the fact that she now has to live with the fact that she left this wonderful woman behind? Well, that's just the worst punishment for her actions that I can imagine."

Laura's jaw dropped slightly and she stared at Carmilla with wide eyes. Meanwhile, Perry had a large smile spread across her face and LaF looked impressed.

"Oooh, Laura, I like her." Perry nodded rapidly.

"Yeah. She can stay." LaF agreed, and caught the way Laura was staring at Carmilla. "Um, Perr, maybe we should log out. We have that, uh, thing."

Perry gave LaF a questioning glance. "What 'thing'? We don't have a thing. We're busy meeting Laura's girlfriend."

"Oh, no, trust me. We have a thing." LaF declared, pushing Perry aside. "Bye, guys. We'll talk to you later. Nice meeting you, Carmilla!"

"Same to you." Carmilla nodded.

"Bye." Laura whispered out, her eyes still locked on Carmilla.

"But LaFonta-" Perry's voice was cut off as the call was ended. Carmilla looked at Laura with a gentle smile.

"Did you mean that?" Laura asked softly. Carmilla tilted her head, her curls falling to the side and brushing Laura's cheek.

"The prior activities you engaged in with your ex-wife may not be my favourite topic to talk or think about," Carmilla cooed, "but yes, I meant every word."

Laura blinked a couple of times, and then she jumped up from her chair and yanked Carmilla in for a vehement kiss. Carmilla stumbled back, catching Laura at her hips while Laura's hands grasped at the collar of Carmilla's tank top. Laura's lips clashed against Carmilla's greedily, an obvious sense of desperation as Carmilla tasted Laura's tongue across her own.

"Sex. Now." Laura moaned against Carmilla. Carmilla, still registering the sudden passionate outburst from Laura, merely released her own moan as a positive response.

Carmilla was certainly not going to deny such a request today.

Carmilla slid up her hands into Laura's shirt, her fingers dancing along the skin before unhooking Laura's bra. She couldn't wait to kiss every inch of Laura's skin. The skin Laura allows her to touch like this, even if she was still reeling from Xena's betrayal. Carmilla would never take that for granted.

Laura was pushing her back slowly, trying to focus on pressing Carmilla against her as much as possible while maneuvering. Carmilla's legs eventually hit the couch and she fell back, Laura following her and straddling her lap.

Carmilla felt a chill go down her spine and heat pool in her stomach. God, she wanted Laura. She wanted her in every way.

Laura pulled back and shakily fiddled with Carmilla's tank top, yanking it off. Laura let out a shallow breath seeing that she didn't have to worry about removing Carmilla's bra, as she hadn't gotten around to putting one on yet. The opposite of a problem.

"God, you're beautiful." Laura breathed, leaning down to kiss down Carmilla's chest. Carmilla's head fell back and she suppressed a moan.

"Are you going to cry? Because if you do, I'll feel far less embarrassed about my own Stendhal moment." Carmilla murmured. Laura giggled against her skin.

"All the crying I want right now is you crying my name." Laura gently bit at the swell of Carmilla's breast, and Carmilla decided to give Laura a taste of what she wanted.

"Laura…" Carmilla moaned, her arm flying up to rest over her eyes. Laura sighed contentedly at the sound, her mouth moving to work at Carmilla's more sensitive skin.

Fuck. She was not feeling enough of Laura's skin to placate her.

She pushed Laura off for a moment, and luckily Laura was only wearing a blouse. Carmilla did not have the patience for a button up right now.

Carmilla pulled the top off and the bra she unhooked earlier came with it. She immediately pressed her lips between Laura's breasts, leaving wet kisses, and the small hitch of Laura's breath was music to Carmilla's ears.

She ran her hands over Laura's stomach, feeling the ripples in her toned abdomen, and then grasped at the button of Laura's jeans.

Still not enough skin.

"Tell me you need me." Carmilla whispered. Laura's breathing was shaky.

"I need you." Laura whimpered as Carmilla popped the button.

Both of them dealt with whatever constricting fabric was on their legs very quickly at that point, followed by Laura repositioning herself on Carmilla's lap to grind slowly against her.

Carmilla's body was on fire.

"Fuck, I need you." Laura repeated, her head hanging back and mouth opening wide as she took in the sensation of the friction between her legs and Carmilla's stomach.

For Carmilla, it was all too much.

Carmilla slid her hands over the slope of Laura's hips, fingers curling into her supple flesh and she helped Laura's swift gyrating against her. She leaned forward, capturing the nub of Laura's breast in her mouth.

"Ugh, Carm!"

Carmilla grinned. Seems Laura would be crying as well.

Laura shifted back on Carmilla's lap and slowed her movements slightly, grinding against Carmilla's thigh roughly. The motion was driving Carmilla crazy, as well as Laura's increasingly heavy breathing.

Carmilla looked up and their eyes met. Laura's eyes were heavy, flooded with desire and a sort of animalistic level of desperation. She licked her lips slowly while gazing down at Carmilla, and Carmilla observed Laura's expression empirically. She knew that look.

Laura, in an agonizingly slow motion, dragged her hands from the base of Carmilla's thighs up over her stomach and across her chest, coming to rest on her shoulders. Laura's nails dug in slightly and she swept her head down to kiss Carmilla hungrily, a needy groan rumbling in the back of her throat.

Not detaching herself from Carmilla's lips, one hand started to make the journey back down Carmilla's torso – still agonizingly slow. Then, Laura's knee nudged Carmilla's legs to open better access. Carmilla let out a gasp. She needed to be touched. Now.

"Laura," Carmilla breathed, "please."

Laura bit Carmilla's bottom lip between her smile, and then she slipped her hand between Carmilla's legs.

Laura certainly got her wish of Carmilla crying her name.

Laura continued her movements against Carmilla's thigh, which were only helped by Carmilla's bucking hips against Laura's hand. Their heavy breathing mixed together, and Carmilla felt a light coat of sweat while trailing her hands over Laura's back. The rhythms of their hips started moving at an irregular pace, and Carmilla's head felt light, taking in the scent and sound of Laura moving against her.

Laura sunk her head down and started gasping Carmilla's name into her ear, and that's what caused Carmilla's pleasure to spike up at that moment, a strangled moan escaping from her mouth being cut off as she broke into spasms across her body. Laura followed into her ecstasy soon after, with Carmilla using all the awareness she had left to use her own hand to coax a more lasting experience for Laura.

Then Laura collapsed against Carmilla's already limp body, Laura's head resting on Carmilla's shoulder. They breathed each other in deeply, drinking the moment in – that cool moment of clarity after orgasm. Carmilla let out a long breath as she snaked her arms around Laura's waist, and Laura sunk into her further.

Carmilla closed her eyes, focusing on Laura's body against her. She wanted Laura's presence to be imprinted on her skin, she wanted to remember the way her chest rose and fell against her own. She wanted to savour this moment. Even if she could guarantee that Laura would be hers forever, she'd savour these moments.

"Carm…" Laura eventually murmured against Carmilla's shoulder, and she sighed at the soft sound of Laura's voice. "Carmilla… I think that's your phone."

Carmilla's eyes popped open.

"What?" Carmilla questioned. She had been so wrapped up in Laura that she hadn't heard the buzzing coming from Laura's room. "Damnit."

Laura crawled off her lazily, giving Carmilla a soft kiss on the shoulder as Carmilla went up to retrieve her phone.

If it was J.P. calling her to take a shift, she was going to throttle him.

She checked her missed calls and saw it had been Mattie. Carmilla sighed. Normally if it had been anyone else, she'd just call back later. Mattie was an exception.

Carmilla pressed the redial and held it to her ear, letting it ring. While she waited, she felt two warm arms encircle her waist from behind. She turned in Laura's arms, who gently pushed Carmilla back down onto the bed and crawled up to rest on her chest. Carmilla smiled, pulling her fingers through Laura's hair.

Laura was always exceptionally cuddly after sex – an attribute that Carmilla had absolutely no issues with.

" **Carmilla, how nice of you to call back. I'm pleased to hear you're not too busy for your dear old sister and agent.** " The phone sprang to life with Mattie's voice.

"Sorry, I was… preoccupied and couldn't reach my phone in time." Carmilla sighed. Laura turned her head and smiled at her.

" **I don't need to know details, darling. This is a business call, after all**." Mattie affirmed.

"Joy." Carmilla drawled.

" **Do try to sound a bit more enthusiastic. I work hard for you and I'd hate to think you were ungrateful**." Mattie stated.

"Not ungrateful, just lazy." Carmilla answered with a smirk. Mattie let out a chuckle on her end.

" **Never changing. I'm going to guess that's the reason I still haven't received a section of your current writing endeavours**?" Mattie interrogated, and Carmilla groaned.

"Is this what this is about? I told you, I'll give you something as soon as I'm happy with it." Carmilla sighed.

" **At this point I'd take something you're mildly satisfied with**." Mattie huffed. " **But no matter, that isn't what I'm calling**."

"Please don't tell me you already have buyers for a book that isn't even written." Carmilla muttered.

" **I'm proud you have so much faith in me, and as much as that could be true, no. My main focus at this point in time is to have some eyes on you in the literary world**." Mattie explained.

"Laura already put some eyes on me." Carmilla commented.

" **With a** _ **BuzzFeed**_ **article. Please. This isn't kindergarten, darling. We're not looking for people who will put your book up on their refrigerator**." Mattie scoffed. Carmilla looked back down at Laura, who had her eyes closed and didn't seem to be listening in. Thank god.

"What did you have in mind?" Carmilla inquired.

" **Have you heard of the WTC**?"

"The whatta?"

" **WTC. Writer's Trust of Canada. Honestly, do you know nothing of the field you're supposed to be working in?** " Mattie huffed.

"I believe I hired you to handle those sorts of things. I'm just the one who types shit." Carmilla stated.

" **Quite**." Mattie crooned. " **Well, the WTC holds very prominent Galas each year. I happened to bring it to their attention that it may be beneficial to have a certain past author say a few words about LGBTQ representation in literature**."

"Please don't tell me I'm that author." Carmilla glowered.

" **Now, sis, you must recognize what an opportunity this is** -"

"Mattie!" Carmilla groaned, and Laura looked up in surprise and concern on her face. "I'm a writer, not a speaker!"

" **It's just a few words, darling. I'm sure you can keep that mouth of yours on track for at least two minutes. They were very excited to hear from the fabled Queered And Feathered author who inexplicably dropped off the earth. They were even going to present to you the Dayne Ogilvie Prize the year you published it, but that Ell girl and Mother made sure you had already dropped into obscurity**." Mattie relayed.

"Great. More reasons to utterly hate those two." Carmilla grumbled.

" **Well now you can make up for it. And it won't just be the Trust there, either. It's a very large event, after all. You simply must attend. It might be fun. You can even bring that maid of yours**." Mattie chuckled.

"She's not a maid." Carmilla snapped, and Laura's expression fixed into a glare. "I don't know, Mattie. This is a lot at once."

" **Carmilla, as your agent I want what's best for your career, but as your** _ **sister**_ **I want what's best for** _ **you**_ **. I think this would be good for you to get yourself out there. Maybe you'll find that spark again if you delve into the industry a bit and talk to other writers. But I can't force you**." Mattie suggested. Carmilla was silent a moment.

"…God damnit. Alright." Carmilla huffed.

" **Excellent, because I already told them you were attending**."

"Mattie!"

" **I'll e-mail you the details, darling. Tata**!"

All Carmilla could hear was a dial tone.

She groaned, dropping her phone on the bed beside her. Laura titled her head curiously, tracing her finger in soothing patterns on Carmilla's chest.

"What was that about?" Laura inquired. Carmilla sighed, looking back up at Laura. At least she wouldn't be alone that night.

"Mattie signed me up to speak at some Gala for some fancy writers about LGBTQ in literacy." Carmilla grumbled.

"Well that's great!" Laura brightened up.

"You think so?"

"Yeah! I mean, it's sort of up your alley, right? And it sounds like a super important event." Laura commented.

"That's the problem. I'm just… someone who wrote a book over half a decade ago, disappeared, and can't seem to write anything now. It's not like I've been an activist this whole time. I've never even been to Pride. What am I supposed to say?" Carmilla mumbled.

"Listen, if you're that worried about it, I _do_ happen to know someone who frequently writes LGBTQ articles and knows a fair bit about its presence in literacy in other media who could help you." Laura winked, tangling her fingers with Carmilla's hand. Carmilla smiled at her.

"You're playing the role of my guardian angel again, Cupcake." Carmilla snickered, putting Laura's hand to her mouth and kissing each individual knuckle. "Now if only you could make sure I keep my words straight while I'm up there."

"Uh, I think keeping your words straight is the opposite of what we want." Laura teased.

"Hilarious, buttercup." Carmilla rolled her eyes, and then rolled Laura over in the same fashion so that Carmilla was lying on top of her instead. She looked down at her with a warm smile and gave her a tender kiss. "Be my date?"

"A glamourous night in a dress with Champaign and hors d'oeuvres while I watch my girlfriend kick ass at the podium?" Laura chuckled, grasping at the back of Carmilla's neck and pulling her back down to her lips. "Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

"Sweetheart, if your leg starts shaking any harder, it may register on the Richter Scale."

"I can't help it! And I might as well shake it while I've still got it, right? Like LaF said, I might get an infection and then it's bye-bye, leg!"

Carmilla groaned. She knew that line would come back to bite them.

It was the day of Laura's bone marrow biopsy and Laura had filled out all the paper work. Now they were just waiting for her to be called in. Laura was obviously more than a little nervous.

"You know that's extremely unlikely, right? I doubt that's even happened in the modern age. This isn't the middle ages where they amputated everything at the slightest problem. It's a simple procedure. You'll be running laps by the end of the day." Carmilla assured her.

"I know." Laura sighed. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. I know it's not a big deal. I'm not even afraid of needles! But for some reason, the thought of them extracting a sliver of my bone…"

"You'll be fine." Carmilla squeezed Laura's hand. "I promise."

Looked down at the hands and squeezed back. She seemed to relax a little bit.

"You wouldn't happen to want to go in there with me and hold my hand through it, would you?" Laura questioned.

"Hell no. I'm not risking seeing some blood." Carmilla shivered. Laura glared at Carmilla with a scrunched up face.

"Oh, so _you_ get to be a chicken about this." Laura scoffed.

"Absolutely." Carmilla nodded, leaning over to kiss Laura on the cheek. "You're far braver than I, creampuff."

Laura took her hand away and crossed her arms, sinking into her chair.

"Stupid girlfriend. Acts all tough and badass with her leather pants and spiked bracelets meanwhile she faints at the sight of blood and cries during sex." Laura muttered.

"Maybe a true badass can admit when their wide-eyed maiden fair brings them to celestial sensations." Carmilla cooed, leaning in close. Laura looked over at her and softened.

"You'll be here when I get out, right?" Laura questioned meekly.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Carmilla tilted her head. Laura looked at the ground and bit her lip. Carmilla sighed, reaching out to cup Laura's face to turn her gaze back to hers. "Yes, I'll be here."

"And you'll take care of me while I recover?" Laura murmured.

"It should be a very fast recovery, but yes."

"Even if I lose my leg?"

Carmilla had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She would mail the ginger nerd a box of spiders if she didn't think they'd be into that.

"Til the end of time." Carmilla promised. Laura leaned forward and kissed Carmilla softly.

When she pulled away, she nudged her nose against Carmilla's gently and opened her mouth slowly, as if about to say something.

"Laura Hollis?"

Laura practically jumped off her chair.

"Present!" Laura squeaked. The nurse that called Laura raised their eyebrow, but didn't comment on Laura's anxiousness.

"We're ready for you. Come this way." The nurse stated.

"Right." Laura nodded stiffly, turning back to Carmilla who had stood up beside her. "Well, I guess this is it."

"Stop sounding like you're going to die in there. You'll be fine. I wouldn't let you go in there if I thought otherwise." Carmilla sighed. Laura frowned, leaning forward to peck Carmilla on her lips.

"Okay." Laura nodded. "Wish me luck."

"You won't need it." Carmilla chuckled. "See you in a bit, Cupcake."

Again, Laura nodded. As soon as she was through the door, Carmilla stopped the nurse.

"How long should this take, exactly?" Carmilla inquired.

"The whole procedure should last about 30 minutes. You her wife, or…?" The nurse questioned. Carmilla felt a blush creep into her cheeks.

"Uh, girlfriend." Carmilla clarified. The nurse merely nodded.

"If you'd like to run some errands, we can set it up so that we'll text you when she's out." The nurse stated.

"That'd be great, thanks." Carmilla nodded. She sorted that out with the nurse quickly, giving them her number.

As thrilling as sitting in a waiting room waiting for Laura's bone to be extracted sounded, she had other people to visit.

Carmilla wandered into the hospital room containing one half of the couple that brought her wonderful girlfriend into the world. He seemed to be sleeping, so Carmilla pulled up a chair beside his bed.

He certainly seemed frail. Even more so than the last time Carmilla saw him. Laura visited him almost every day after she was done with work now, and Carmilla had joined her plenty of times. But sometimes she stayed out of it, believing that Laura and her dad should have their time alone without her there. Part of her always felt like she was intruding a bit whenever she was there, not that Laura or her dad ever gave her a reason to feel that way.

But Laura saw him deteriorate more and more each day. After each visit, Laura would be quiet for at least an hour or so. Then, she'd perk up again as usual, but Carmilla could tell there was a weight on Laura's shoulders. Carmilla did her best to help Laura shoulder it as much as she could.

She hoped Laura's dad would get better. She didn't want to think about what it would do to Laura if she lost him.

"Surely you have something better to do than sit around and watch an old guy like me sleep." Mr. Hollis muttered. He opened an eye and looked over at her, smiling.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you." Carmilla flushed.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I was just trying to sleep as something to do in this boring old place. Things are much more interesting with you here." He chuckled, letting out a few wheezing coughs in the process. "Seriously, they should have more activities for us. What about wheelchair basketball?"

"I can't promise I'll be more interesting than wheelchair basketball, but I'll try." Carmilla smiled.

"I appreciate the effort." He winked. "So, Carmilla, how's my girl?"

"She's getting the procedure done now. It should be no problem, but she was nervous." Carmilla informed.

"Figures. She was always scared of monsters under her bed." Mr. Hollis sighed. "And as much as I love hearing about my daughter, I meant how are _you_?"

"Oh." Carmilla blinked, causing Mr. Hollis to chuckle again.

"Don't look so surprised. You're with my daughter, therefore you're like a daughter to me." He stated. "Sure, my last honorary daughter didn't work out too well, but I have a good feeling about you."

Carmilla looked away, embarrassed. "Thank you for having faith in me."

What was it with the Hollis' that made them see the best in her?

"How could I not? You should hear the way Laura talks about you when you aren't here." He winked again, and Carmilla's face got even redder.

"I don't know what I did to deserve her." Carmilla muttered.

"Hey, now. My daughter might be questioning her own judge of character right now after what her ex-wife did, but I'm not. If Laura sees something worth loving, there's something worth loving." He declared.

Carmilla looked down at the floor again, biting her smile. "I'll do whatever I can to make sure both of you are correct about me."

"I'm sure you will." He grinned, weakly shifting a bit. He reached toward his side table where his wallet was, and pulled out a twenty. "To prove my undying trust, why don't you take this and go to the gift shop to buy Laura a teddy bear or something? You can even say it was your idea to win some brownie points."

Carmilla hesitantly took the twenty, because she wasn't about to argue with a dying man who had shown her such kindness. Besides, she should've thought to get Laura a teddy bear.

"Thank you." Carmilla muttered. He viewed her curiously and leaned up a little.

"Carmilla, do you remember the promise you made to me when we first met?" He inquired. Carmilla stiffened, because yes she did. She promised to take care of Laura in his absence, and although she would've done that regardless, it was a tragic circumstance in which to make such a promise.

"Yes." Carmilla whispered and he nodded slowly.

"The more the days go by, the more it becomes apparent that you may have to carry out that promise." He sighed.

"Don't say that." Carmilla furrowed her brow, but he held up his hand.

"Now, now. I can admit when I'm down for the count. Anyway, I realize now that it was wrong of me to have you make that promise. You're new to Laura's life and, as much as I still think of her as my little girl, she's grown into a very capable woman. I shouldn't have forced her new girlfriend to act as her guardian angel or something." He explained.

Carmilla's lips twitched up a bit at the notion of being Laura's guardian angel.

"Regardless, I'm just going to say… I'd appreciate it if you're there for Laura when I'm gone. It'll… it might be hard on her for a while. I remember she didn't take the death of her mom very well. Hell, neither did I. But Laura was young at the time and now that she's older… well, nobody should have to lose both of their parents so soon." He frowned.

Carmilla cringed thinking about how jaded Mattie could be at times. Not that Carmilla was much better, and she still had something at least resembling a mother.

"I swear to you I'll be there for her." Carmilla promised. "That's not even up for debate with me."

Mr. Hollis gave her a teary smile and reached forward to squeeze her hand.

"Thank you," he wheezed, "for being in my daughter's life when she most needed it."

A bit of emotion caught in Carmilla's throat, so she simply nodded. Mr. Hollis brightened up and let go of Carmilla's hand.

"Well! That's enough depressing talk. You go get Laura that bear now and give her a big kiss for me when you see her." He ordered.

"Yes, sir." Carmilla agreed, standing up.

"Oh, and Carmilla," Mr. Hollis stopped her. She looked at him expectantly. "I meant what I said about considering you to be my daughter. Laura told me your parents aren't… ideal, and I know I'm no replacement, but while I'm still here I want you to feel comfortable coming to me for anything."

Again, emotion caught in Carmilla's throat.

"Okay, I will." Carmilla croaked. "Feel better, Mr. Hollis."

"I'm tryin'." He chuckled, closing his eyes again.

Carmilla stood there for a moment wondering if there was something more she could say. When she didn't think of anything, she turned and headed out the door, the words of Laura's father on her mind.

She then made it down to the gift shop and kept an eye on the time. Laura would be out soon. Carmilla knew it was a simple procedure, but she couldn't help but hope it was going well. Ugh, Laura's worrying had got to her.

She browsed the selection of stuffed animals and ended up picking out a bear hugging a heart. Carmilla bought it with Mr. Hollis' money, being sure to keep the change to give back to Mr. Hollis later, and then she was going to take it up to Laura and greet her girlfriend with a nurturing smile.

At least, that was the plan.

"Carmilla?"

Carmilla, who had been walking of the gift shop with the bear, froze at the sound of the voice.

There was no fucking way.

She should've just kept walking.

"Huh. Thought it was you. What an odd coincidence. Whatever are you doing here?"

Carmilla slowly turned, the bear clutched firmly in her grip, as she observed her ex-wife as calmly as possible.

"I could ask you the same thing." Carmilla said coolly. Ell had a sour face.

"Well, you could say I've run into some… financial troubles as of late, as I'm sure you're fully aware. Personal training and the amounts of clients I have aren't enough to sustain my living situation here in Toronto, so my uncle got me a second job here at the outpatient rehabilitation centre." Ell explained bitterly.

"Perhaps you don't have enough clients because they heard you sleep with them regardless of marital status." Carmilla shot at her. That felt good.

But Ell simply flashed that million-dollar smile that Carmilla barely remembered loving at one time. Now it just made her sick.

"If my clients knew that, I would have so many I wouldn't know what to do with all of them. I could be the Ashley Madison of personal trainers." Ell crooned, and Carmilla just rolled her eyes. "I see you're still bitter."

"Shouldn't I be?" Carmilla grumbled.

"I'm not sure. From where I'm standing, I believe I got the short end of the stick out of all this." Ell noted, eyeing the teddy bear in Carmilla's hands.

"Oh Ell, haven't you heard the saying 'cheaters never prosper'?" Carmilla smirked, and then she turned away. She wanted the last word, for once. She wanted to show Ell she wasn't hers to control anymore.

"Are you here for that tiny girl? Danny's ex?" Ell called after her. "What was her name? Lorraine?"

Carmilla paused. "Laura." She glowered.

"That's right. Laura." Ell snickered. "Is she here because she's just that sick of you already?"

Carmilla gritted her teeth, but she pushed herself to keep walking.

"Maybe it'd be for the best if she were willing to put herself in the hospital just to get away from you. You probably deserve better."

Carmilla stopped, her jaw locked and eyes darkening. Ell still knew how to push the right buttons.

"Oh yes, Danny and I would have all sorts of conversations about her. So entitled, that one. And acting like she's so above it all. Ha, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're sick of her. I wouldn't blame you from what I've seen." Ell continued.

"You take that back." Carmilla snarled, whipping her head towards Ell.

"Come on, Carmilla. I admit she was a nice piece of ass to have as rebound, but she has to get on your nerves with that little high pitch voice and superiority complex." Ell laughed. "But if you're that desperate…"

"Shut up." Carmilla seethed. "You know nothing about Laura."

"Oh, but I know your taste in girls." Ell chuckled, putting a hand on Carmilla's arm. Carmilla flinched away, but Ell just leaned in close. "She doesn't care about you. She'll just walk all over you before she walks out on you… that little bitch."

Carmilla fought everything in her not to drive her fist into that stupid smiling face. She knew that's just what Ell wanted. All these witnesses? Ell could sue for assault. Carmilla knew that, and yet it almost seemed worth it.

Ell was still manipulating her. Like a puppet.

Carmilla snapped out of her rage-filled trance by a vibrate in her pocket. Swallowing hard and welcoming the distraction, she pulled her phone out.

Laura was done. Shit. She promised she would be there. Ell wasn't worth her time. She never was.

"Well, as fun as catching up has been, I need to go." Carmilla muttered, turning away.

"Very well. Tell that little bitch I hope she pulls her head out of her ass soon." Ell stated. Carmilla let out a growl, because she wasn't going to let Ell talk about Laura that way. She could throw all the cheap shots she wanted at Carmilla, but not Laura.

"You know what? Just stop. If there's even a sliver of a decent human being inside you, you'll stop. You know why Laura's in there? She's getting a procedure done to try and save her dad's _life_. So fuck you and whatever you say, because you'll just have to live with the fact that Laura is a far better person than you'll ever be, and maybe you'll face dying alone because of that." Carmilla snapped, turning on her heel to head to the elevators.

Ell grabbed at her wrist.

"Wait."

" _What_?" Carmilla snarled again, looking back at her. The look on Ell's face surprised her. She seemed… guilty.

"I know you think I'm a horrible person, and you're probably right. I just… I never meant for things to work out this way. I didn't get what I wanted for once in my life and… well, maybe I'm the entitled little bitch." Ell frowned, looking down. "I hope Laura's father gets better, and… I'm sorry. For everything."

Carmilla blinked at her. Ell had never apologized for anything. Not once.

"Yeah, okay." Carmilla mumbled, turning away. She didn't have any time to dissect what Ell said.

But while in the elevator, she figured it must've been just another way to torture her.

It was working.

Luckily Carmilla was able to gain control of her breathing and the shakiness in her hands again before she reached the reception where Laura had gone in. Good thing, because they might've tried to admit her to the hospital at the rate she was going.

"Hi. I'm here to pick up Laura Hollis?" Carmilla requested.

"Laura Hollis?" The receptionist questioned, scrolling through her database. "Ah, yes. She's not here. There were complications."

Carmilla's eyes widened.

"What _complications_?" Carmilla glowered, and the receptionist seemed to realize their mistake.

"Oh! Nothing bad. It says here that she had difficulty calming down, so she asked for an IV. The procedure went just fine, but she's in recovery just because of the IV sedation. You can go see her now, though. She just might be a tad… loopy until the drugs wear off." The receptionist explained. Carmilla let out a sigh of relief.

She followed the directions to the recovery area, and found a large open area full of beds with only curtains dividing each bed. Carmilla found Laura as soon as possible, who seemed to be sleeping. In an almost funny way, she sort of reflected her father.

Carmilla sat by Laura's bed and took Laura's hand, squeezing it gently. She waited patiently, tracing her eyes along Laura's slumbering face. Laura looked so peaceful in her sleep, which was nice. Laura rarely looked peaceful. Carmilla hoped that one day she could help Laura find a bit of inner peace even without the clutches of her unconscious mind.

Eventually Laura's fingers tightened around Carmilla's and her eyes fluttered open. Carmilla shifted closer, touching the back of her hand to Laura's cheek.

"Hey." Carmilla cooed. Laura looked over with a lazy smile.

"Hey!" Laura mumbled. "So, what's the status? Still have all my legs?"

"Actually, you gained one while you were in there. Congratulations." Carmilla smirked.

Laura's eyes widened for a moment, and then she scowled. "Carm! That's not very nice."

"Sorry, Cupcake. But I think you'll live." Carmilla chuckled. Laura laughed a little, too.

"It really wasn't a big deal. It totally doesn't hurt or nothin'." Laura claimed.

"That might be all the drugs you're on, cutie." Carmilla noted.

"Even still! It was just a little needle. I'd be out of here by now if I didn't get all… freaked out." Laura frowned. "Carm, I… I don't think I was afraid of losing my leg."

"Hmm?" Carmilla inquired. Laura looked really out of it, but despite the drugs, any sense of the peace she had while asleep was gone.

"I think I… I think I'm afraid I can't do it." Laura muttered.

"Do what?" Carmilla furrowed her brow.

"Save my dad." Laura whispered. "If it doesn't work… if they can't find a way to save my dad through this… then I failed… I let my dad die…"

"Laura…" Carmilla sighed.

"What if… what if I can't do it, Carm? What if I can't save him?" Laura croaked, a couple tears falling from her eyes.

"Oh, sweetheart…" Carmilla murmured, reaching over to tilt Laura's face toward her. She leaned in and rested her forehead against Laura's.

Carmilla couldn't argue against Laura right now. Laura was hopped up, so she wouldn't listen to reason. Besides, she wasn't wrong. Even her dad was resigned to his fate. And how do you comfort someone about that? Carmilla didn't have the answers.

"Thank you for keeping your promise about being here when I was done." Laura sniffed. "Danny… Danny would never be there. There was always something more important than me. And…"

"Of course I'm here. Always." Carmilla mumbled. Laura screwed her eyes shut tight, reaching up to clutch at Carmilla's shirt desperately, as if to make extra sure Carmilla didn't float away.

Carmilla helped Laura home later once she was given the clear to leave. Laura walked with a bit of a limp and she had to take it easy because of the IV drugs, but otherwise she was fine. Her dad was actually asleep when they visited him on the way out, so Carmilla left the change on his side table and Laura left him with a kiss on the forehead.

They spent the evening watching through some of the Harry Potter movies, since Carmilla knew they always cheered Laura up (at least, the early ones did). Carmilla had her arm around Laura and Laura was snuggled to Carmilla's side, hugging her new teddy bear close.

"Did I say anything embarrassing after I woke up?" Laura questioned at one point during Prisoner of Azkaban.

"You thought you grew a third leg." Carmilla stated. Laura furrowed her brow, and then she scowled the same way she had at the hospital.

"That's because _you told me I had!_ " Laura exclaimed, smacking Carmilla playfully with the teddy bear. "You jerk!"

"It was worth it to see the confusion on that cute face." Carmilla murmured, capturing Laura's chin between her fingers and leaving a light kiss on her lip.

"You're… the worst." Laura breathed, looking a little distracted from the kiss. She shook it off and leaned back into Carmilla's embrace. "Anything else?"

"No." Carmilla muttered. Nothing she wanted to have Laura talk about again. Not when she still didn't have the answers. "You were just cute."

"If a video of me ends up on Ellen, I might kill you." Laura stated.

"If a video of you ended up on Ellen, you would be _delighted_." Carmilla argued. Laura paused a moment.

"…Ugh, you're right." Laura huffed. Carmilla chuckled, squeezing Laura's shoulder.

They got back to watching the movie, and Carmilla sighed. Ell's cameo in her day was still prominent in her mind. Laura seemed to feel well enough now, and she couldn't keep it bottled up much longer. Besides, Laura told her right away when she ran into Danny.

"So… I, uh, I may have happened upon Ell today."

Laura stiffened, and she practically leapt to the remote to pause the movie before sitting back next to Carmilla at attention. Not the kind of "taking it easy" she was supposed to be doing.

"Excuse me, but it sounded like you just casually said you stumbled upon _the devil_ today." Laura gaped. "When? Where?"

"Outside the hospital gift shop, when I was getting you this guy." Carmilla poked the bear in Laura's lap. "She works there now."

"Wow, okay, remind me to get my dad transferred out of hell." Laura seethed, then she softened, stroking Carmilla's cheek soothingly. "You okay?"

Carmilla swallowed hard and nodded slightly. "Working on it."

"Oh, Carm, you should've said something sooner." Laura murmured.

"And unleash you when you're hardly coherent with a tiny hole in your hip? I don't think so." Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"…I see your point." Laura admitted. "Did she do anything to you?"

"We just talked. First she was her typical horrid self. Then she was really nice." Carmilla muttered.

"Strange." Laura commented.

"Not really. Not for her. She always plays these mind games. I have no idea what I'm up against with her. I think she's one way, and then she's another, and it ends up being turned around on me, and-" Carmilla paused to take a deep breath. "I guess today was just a reminder that she's still in my head, in some ways. I bet that gave her a sort of sick satisfaction."

Laura frowned, and then pulled Carmilla in for a tight hug.

"You're getting stronger every day, Carm. You'll break from her eventually. She doesn't have any real power over you. Not anymore." Laura cooed. Carmilla's hands grasped at Laura's back as she buried her face into Laura neck.

"What would I do without you?" Carmilla mumbled.

Laura released a light laugh.

"Funny. All of today I was thinking the same thing about you."

* * *

Carmilla felt like she was going to throw up. Why had she ever agreed to this?

Both her and Laura were sitting at their table at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel for the Trust Gala surrounded by important business people and authors she didn't even know, let alone knew how to talk to. Laura was the one carrying most of the conversations. Carmilla just sat there, clutching the sides of her chair and trying not to make snarky comments about the whole situation.

"Yes, of course! I find the shift in the culture of literature very interesting. With all the e-books and so many different mediums in which to consume story telling, it's amazing that there's still such huge followings behind novels that are helping to keep the industry afloat, I find." Laura was ranting to someone they shared the table with.

"Oh, indeed. Obviously there is a boom with screen options right now with the screen medium what with online streaming, but I still believe nothing can reach into the hearts of people quite at the level that books can." The woman replied. She was some young adult author. Something about the apocalypse.

"Mhm, I completely agree! Something about letting your brain take in these words and spit out this world – you become more attached to it." Laura continued.

"Although the industry is still suffering, particularly with fiction. Nonfiction always seems to be booming, though. It seems to be truly successful these days you need to release a self-help book." Another woman scoffed. Someone across from the table glared. Carmilla figured she was in nonfiction.

"You make it sound as though nonfiction is merely a get-rich-quick scheme. It's not all just Chicken Soup for the Soul, you know. Nonfiction reflects a view of human society. Their struggles and achievements. It brings us all together and gives us hope rather than escaping into a fantasy land." The nonfiction woman argued. The woman from before turned a little red.

"You assume that fiction itself doesn't reflect society in a unique way. How many times has a real world discussion been sparked by a story of a dystopia? Why is it that you think children study novels in school rather than nonfiction? It's all culturally relevant!" The woman insisted, and then to Carmilla's horror, turned to her. "How do you feel on the subject, Carmilla?"

Carmilla somehow tensed even more than possible. She actually had a lot of thoughts on the subject, but she was at a loss for words at that moment.

"Yeah. Both genres are great." Carmilla mumbled. The women at the table blinked in surprise at Carmilla's curt reply. Laura reached over and took one of Carmilla's white-knuckled hands.

"Carmilla's first novel was actually a hybrid of the two, bringing out the best parts in both to reflect a hypothetical situation and a harsh reality that actually takes place in our society to accurately bring to life the story in the most authentic and impactful way possible." Laura stated. "I think it's good to recognize the perks of both genres and how they affect the public in different ways at different times. Both are needed."

The women at the table nodded in agreement.

"Well said," one of them stated.

"That's very interesting about your book, Carmilla. I'm afraid I haven't had to time to pick it up, but now I shall." Another claimed. Carmilla nodded slowly, feeling like she was going to explode if she stayed there another moment.

"If you'll excuse me." Carmilla muttered, standing up from the table and stalking off to the bathroom.

She pushed through the door and was relieved to see no one else was present. She went to the sink and leaned against her hands on the counter, hunched over. She caught herself in the mirror and was almost surprised at how pale she looked – paler than usual. Swallowing hard, Carmilla prayed to whatever that would listen to let her keep her fancy hors d'oeuvres down just a little longer.

Laura came through the door soon after her, looking concerned. She immediately went to Carmilla and cupped her face, making her look at her.

"Hey, you're doing great." Laura cooed.

"I'm far too much of an introvert for this shit." Carmilla muttered, and Laura chuckled.

"Just try not to put so much pressure on yourself." Laura suggested, tucking a strand of Carmilla's hair behind her ear.

"Easy for you to say. You fit right in here. I don't." Carmilla grumbled. Laura sighed, taking Carmilla delicately in her arms.

"You do fit in here. All these people and you have something in common. You love the written word. To write, to read… I know it's something you're passionate about. It's passionate for them, too. You can relate to that." Laura assured her.

"The written word, sure. But this is still an industry, and I want nothing to do with the politics that come with that. I can feel their eyes on me, waiting to see what the mysterious C. Karnstein will do. How they can…" Carmilla took in a shaky breath, "how they can exploit me."

Laura bit her lip and she squeezed Carmilla's side gently.

"Then let them keep guessing." Laura shrugged. "You don't owe these people anything, except one small speech that we've worked on over and over. Other than that, you don't need to play their games. Remember you agreed to come here for you."

Carmilla nodded, shaking off her nerves. Right. She didn't have to meet anyone's expectations but her own.

"Thank you for having my back in there. You've been great at keeping them off me… and being wonderful eye candy." Carmilla smirked, her gaze falling down Laura's petite form in her tight-fitting dress. A pink shade danced across Laura's cheeks.

"Not so bad yourself. We're definitely the hottest couple here." Laura chuckled, kissing Carmilla on the cheek and pinching at her hip. "You ready to go back out?"

"We could… or we could grab ourselves a stall here and…" Carmilla husked, pulling Laura close and nipping at Laura's bottom lip. A breath whooshed out of Laura's lungs and she looked incredulous for a moment, but with the feeling of Carmilla's lips moving slowly against hers and the way Carmilla's hands were creeping slowly up her sides, she started to lean into Carmilla's touch…

They jumped apart just in time when they heard footsteps outside of the bathroom and a couple of people walked in. Laura gave them a stiff nod and smile and took Carmilla's hand.

"Come on, you vixen." Laura hissed into Carmilla's ear as she dragged them back out into the ballroom.

Carmilla let out a chuckle. Perhaps It was for the best. Mattie would murder both of them if Carmilla missed her cue to go up to the podium… and if they were caught performing not-so-wholesome acts in the bathroom.

For the next half-hour or so, Carmilla took a new approach. She sat there among the conversations looking as unbothered and disinterested as she usually would, and Laura was more than happy to take the reins on the topics. Carmilla felt more at ease that way, too.

At least, until she was called to the podium.

"I'll be right here." Laura whispered to her as the people around her applauded politely. Carmilla nodded and stood up tensely, walking herself up to the podium.

She surveyed the ballroom full of people waiting, watching her, judging her.

Carmilla took a deep breath.

"Yeah… uh, hi." Carmilla swallowed, and her awkward demeanor seemed to spark some light-hearted laughs. Laura flashed her a gorgeous smile, and somehow Carmilla felt the strength to keep going. "A lot of you may not know me, and some of you might, but even those that might have only heard whispers. So, here's my introduction."

Carmilla kept her eyes locked on Laura.

"In the literary world, I'm known as C. Karnstein, and a fair amount of years ago, I wrote a book called 'Queered And Feathered'. Now, I'm certain you all can identify with this, but that was not just some book I dreamed up one night. I was younger at the time. It was from the heart. It was therapeutic. It was important to me, and as I found out later, important to others. The book depicted my own personal struggles with being gay, if that wasn't already obvious from the title. If it wasn't, and you thought I was straight this whole time… I have some news for you."

This elicited a few more laughs from the audience. Carmilla had to thank Laura for insisting that humour would be a good angle to take.

"LGBTQ+ presence in literature and other media types has improved significantly since I first wrote my little book that could, but there is sill more work to be done. We are still struggling to see ourselves in our favourite stories, especially people along the spectrum who are considered a little less 'common'. They exist. We exist. And you don't need to be gay to understand the love between people regardless of gender. We can all contribute to letting our stories reflect the truth of the world a little more, and-"

Carmilla paused as she saw Laura take out her phone. Laura looked back up at her, a frantically apologetic look on her face before she quickly got up and practically sprinted out of the ballroom, answering the call. Carmilla's mouth was agape, and a confused murmur radiated across the patrons in the ballroom at Carmilla's pause.

"S-Sorry." Carmilla's voice trembled. "And this starts with you, the writers. It starts with the agents, the publishers, the readers who should want to see more of our stories, rather than turning them away because they aren't considered a selling point. We've come a long way since Patricia Highsmith, and there's much more to do. And I know that if I had more books reflecting my inner self growing up… well, then maybe the protagonist of my book wouldn't have felt so alone. Thank you."

Carmilla heard the resounding applause as she walked down from the podium, but she didn't fully register it. She walked right past the table of the women who obviously wanted to comment on her speech and out of the ballroom, the same way Laura went.

Why had she walked out? Who had called her? Laura wouldn't have left if it hadn't been important.

Carmilla finally found her on the DEQ terrace, looking out over at the CN Tower. The lights running along the tower were so bright that the red and white cascaded over Laura's form, illuminating her still figure in the darkness of the evening.

"Laura?" Carmilla questioned, approaching her. Laura seemed to shake a little.

"Carm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you." Laura turned towards her, and her smile was twisted with emotion. Each syllable seemed to be a struggle to utter. She was trying so hard to hold everything together. "But I know you blew them away. I know they thought you were wonderful."

"Laura… what happened?" Carmilla whispered, reaching out towards her. Any last ounce of control shattered across Laura's expression and she collapsed into Carmilla's arms.

"Dr. Vordenberg… he called from the hospital." Laura sobbed. "He just wanted to set up a meeting but I… I've been so paranoid, I demanded to hear what he had to say now. I should've just waited."

"Your dad…?" Carmilla breathed as she held Laura tightly.

"He's… he's okay. But… not." Laura whimpered. "Apparently they've done all the testing they can but they… they haven't found a successful way to save him. He's gonna…"

Laura's voice cut off into more sobs, and Carmilla's chest throbbed painfully for her. Laura's words back at the hospital filled her mind.

_If they can't find a way to save my dad through this… then I failed… I let my dad die…_

"Two to three months. That's how long they're giving him." Laura choked, burying her head deeper into Carmilla's shoulder.

"Laura, I…" Carmilla mumbled, trying to find the right words. Saying sorry felt too empty. Saying that it would be okay was just lying. So she decided to give Laura the sincerest sentiment she could. "I'm here."

Laura nodded against her, the tears not yet calming down, but her arms tightened around Carmilla's neck securely.

Carmilla rocked Laura slowly, letting her cry against her, until eventually Laura devolved into sniffles and hiccups. She pulled back slowly and Carmilla immediately started to wipe away the tears and the mascara streaks on Laura's cheeks, as well as brushing her hair out of her face. Laura tried to give her a weak smile.

"You… you should go back in there. Talk with people. Make friends. I know they'll find you as captivating as I do." Laura croaked. "But I need to go. I can't be here anymore, pretending I'm okay when I'm not. I'm sorry."

Carmilla shook her head. Laura had just found out she was going to lose her father in a couple of months, and she was still trying to be strong.

"Sweetheart… those people in there? They're not important to me. You are." Carmilla cooed, cupping Laura's face. "I'll call an Uber and talk you home, and then we'll curl up and I'll hold you for as long as you need me to. Okay?"

Laura released a shaky breath and she nodded rapidly, pulling Carmilla into another hug.

"I don't know how I would be handling… everything if you hadn't fallen into my life." Laura whispered. "Thank you… for being in my life when I need you most."

A lump caught in Carmilla's throat once again.

"Same to you, Cupcake." Carmilla murmured. Laura's chest expanded against her as she took in a deep breath.

"I love you." Laura breathed out. "Maybe it's too early to say but I really don't care right now. What if I lost you and I never got to tell you how I felt? I love you, so much. It's so obvious to me. And it's okay if you still need time to figure things out but I just wanted you to-"

"Laura," Carmilla stopped her, pulling back and cupping her face again. She met Laura's eyes intensely, every speck of emotion brimming to the surface. Overflowing. "I love you, too."

Laura's eyes were wide as Carmilla pulled her back into her embrace. She closed her eyes, feeling Laura relax into her, and it was obvious to her as well. It was obvious how much the woman in her arms meant to her, how she'd do anything for her, how she wanted to be better for her. It was obvious for a long time, and would be obvious for a long time. And she wanted Laura to know that. So as Carmilla held her and wished she could take away all of Laura's pain, she uttered the phrase again.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Laura was distant for the next two weeks, although not in proximity.

When Laura expressed concern that she might've been "smothering", Carmilla assured her that was nothing she had to worry about. So Laura spent most days when they were together clinging to Carmilla's side.

It was more of the distant look in Laura's eyes that Carmilla took notice of. Laura didn't spring back into her usual chipper mood like usual. Not that Carmilla blamed her. Mr. Hollis meant an ineffable amount to Laura, and now she knew she was about to lose him – not to mention there was that small part of her that blamed herself – Laura's foundation was a tad more worn down. Carmilla knew she needed some time to heal, and she wasn't there to magically make everything better, as much as she wanted to. She was there for Laura to lean on, as she always had. After all, she'd be annoyed if Laura tried to force her to be happy before she was ready.

Still, Carmilla knew her Laura was still behind that veil of melancholy. She saw it in Laura's smile when she brought her groceries to help keep Laura stocked on food. She heard it in Laura's giggle when she would leave feathery kisses over her stomach.

She felt it when Laura was trembling against her fingers, Laura's hands clawing at Carmilla's back while she arched and gasped "I love you" over and over again against Carmilla's ear.

Which, by the way, was a welcomed new phrase in their vocabulary that they both used generously.

Some nights, Laura would even accompany Carmilla to the bar during her shift. Apparently Perry had hounded her with "you shouldn't be alone during this time" and "getting out will be good for you!" as well as "remember the last time you were upset and you went out? You met Carmilla! Oh, and I suppose some not-so-pleasant things happened as well, but do you regret it?"

Needless to say, the semi-helpful lecturing convinced Laura, and Carmilla wouldn't complain about having her girlfriend to look at and talk to during long shifts. It ended up working out pretty well, anyway. The other staff knew about Laura's predicament and went out of their way to entertain Laura while Carmilla was busy, which Carmilla was eternally grateful for.

It was another slow night and Kirsch was telling Laura a silly story about his fraternity that should've earned him a place with the Darwin Awards, but it made Laura laugh. Carmilla smiled warmly at the sight, and Laura looked over at her and returned the smile. She excused herself from Kirsch and slid over a few barstools to Carmilla.

"Got any stories like that from a sorority back at Silas, Cupcake?" Carmilla questioned.

"Oh, god no. I never joined a sorority. Although Danny tried to make me join this athletics club at one point, but they were… intense. Every year they had a festival where they chased a guy through a forest and shot him with arrows." Laura shook her head incredulously. Carmilla raised her eyebrow.

"Sounds like my kind of club, honestly." Carmilla chuckled.

"Carm!" Laura laughed, shoving Carmilla's shoulder lightly. Carmilla couldn't help the grin on her face. Laura was acting more like herself every day, and tonight she really seemed to have relaxed. Carmilla knew it was only temporary, as this was really the calm before the storm, but she'd take any amount of Laura's happiness she could get. Laura noticed her staring. "What?"

Carmilla, still smiling, reached forward to tangle their fingers together. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Laura blushed and giggled, leaning in closer across the bar. "Only about a couple dozen times," she whispered.

"Mmm, not enough, then." Carmilla cooed. Laura grinned, leaning forward to kiss Carmilla tenderly.

"Ehem! You two know the rules. No necking until you're off the clock." J.P. scolded. Carmilla pulled away, annoyed.

"Aw, c'mon, J.P. We're not hurting anyone. In fact, I'm positive some of our customers actually enjoy it." Carmilla smirked, looking over at the table of men who quickly looked away after their leering. J.P. got a little flustered.

"That… that is _not_ the kind of business I want to run!" He gasped, looking offended. Laura let out a laugh.

"Sorry, J.P. Won't happen again." Laura stated.

"See that it doesn't." J.P. huffed, fixing his collar and stalking away. Laura rolled her eyes when she saw the look on Carmilla's face.

"Oh, stop looking at me like a kicked puppy. It'll happen again." Laura sighed, and Carmilla flashed a devilish grin.

"I should be flattered you're willing to break the rules for me." Carmilla purred, walking her fingers up Laura's arm. She smirked when she felt Laura shiver.

"Some rules are worth being broken." Laura whispered, her eyes trailing across Carmilla's body. She suddenly leaned back, looking at Carmilla with that infamous scrunched-up face. "Wow, I can actually _feel_ your ego growing."

"How can it not when such a sweet little flower pays me such nice compliments?" Carmilla smirked.

"Okay, I pay you nice compliments but then all I get is being called a _flower_?" Laura scoffed, and Carmilla rolled her eyes. Laura was certainly acting like her old self.

"I apologize, I forgot you're the kind of girl who prefers sweets to flowers. I'll just stick with calling you Cupcake." Carmilla muttered, grabbing a glass and polishing it with a cloth.

Laura leaned up close, brushing Carmilla's earlobe with her lips.

"Good, because you can't lick the topping off of a flower."

Carmilla nearly dropped the glass.

She didn't get a chance to recuperate and reply with an equally-suggestive comeback before Mel's loud voice boomed across the bar.

"Oh, _hell_ no. What do you think you're doing here? Get out." Mel snapped.

"This is a bar open to the general public, is it not? If I wish to grab a drink here, I have every right to."

Once again, as always, Carmilla flinched at the sound of the voice. She tensed even further at the sight of that blonde hair.

Ell.

Laura immediately jumped up and rushed around the back of the bar, planting herself in front of Carmilla. Carmilla continued to stand there stiffly while Laura's expression fixed into a glare. Ell observed them, amused.

"My, aren't we protective?" Ell crooned.

"What are you doing here?" Laura demanded, and Ell rolled her eyes.

"Does anybody here have _any_ listening skills? I'm here for a drink!" Ell exclaimed. "Carmilla. My usual. I'm sure you remember."

Of course she did. A Bloody Mary. Fitting.

"Carm, don't get her anything." Laura warned. Ell looked at Laura with interest.

"And Carmilla thought _I_ was controlling." Ell barked out a laugh, and Laura seemed to shrink a little. "Carmilla, I'm a customer. All I want is my order."

Carmilla's jaw clenched.

"There's plenty of bars in Toronto, Ell. Why here?" Carmilla interrogated. Ell looked taken aback.

"Why, I suppose I could have gone to any of the numerous bars this city has for selection, but there's only one Carmilla, and I like the way you mix my drinks. You have the right… delicate touch." Ell smirked, taking a step forward. Laura tensed, pressing her back into Carmilla's torso. Ell didn't miss the action. "Oh, but I'm sure Laura knows all about your delicate touch by now, doesn't she?"

"That's none of your business." Laura growled.

"Is it not? Come now, Carmilla. I thought we sorted all the animosity between us during our last run in. There's no secrets between girlfriends and ex-wives. Now tell me, does Carmilla still do that thing with her teeth against your clit, or-"

"Stop." Carmilla snapped, glaring. Ell raised her eyebrows.

"Fine. Not in the mood for sharing, I see." Ell sighed. "Another topic, then. Laura, how's your father?"

Laura tensed even more, if it was possible. She turned her head slightly towards Carmilla.

"You told her about my dad?" Laura growled, and Carmilla looked away, ashamed.

"I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. She just… got under my skin." Carmilla breathed.

"Don't make her a drink, Carmilla. Don't tell her about my dad, Carmilla." Ell whined in a high-pitched voice. "And _I'm_ the manipulative one."

"Shut up." Laura snapped. "I'm nothing like you."

"Pity." Ell crooned. "Now tell me, is daddy dearest doing well?"

"None of your business." Laura seethed.

"Ell, back off." Carmilla warned.

"Please. I'm _trying_ here. Just trying to express concern for my ex's current lover." Ell scoffed. "I suppose by your reaction that he must have one foot in the grave, hmm? Or perhaps he's already passed."

Laura was shaking, and Carmilla was trying to figure out how to control the situation. How do you control a situation with a master manipulator at the wheel? What game was Ell playing, anyway?

"Ell, again, if there's any part of you that's a decent human being-" Carmilla started.

"Am I not? I'm merely trying to provide comfort in the face of such tragedy." Ell stated, looking at Laura. "Oh, Tinkerbell. It'll be okay. Your father is better off where he is instead of having to deal with such a termite of a daughter who couldn't do shit to help him."

Something snapped in Laura, and suddenly she was trying to clamber over the bar. Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura's waist, holding her back.

"Let me _go_! I'm going to punch that low-life in the throat!" Laura shrieked, but Carmilla's grasp held firm against Laura's struggling.

"Laura, Laura. It's what she wants. Shh. Don't give her what she wants." Carmilla murmured soothingly. Laura coughed out a few sobs and she slumped in Carmilla's arms, breathing hard.

"My, what a firecracker you've found, Carmilla." Ell commented. "I can see why Danny let that one go."

Once again, Carmilla found herself thinking that driving her fists into that stupid face would be worth all the law suits. Like Laura said, some rules were worth being broken.

Before Carmilla could act, Kirsch approached Ell with his arms crossed.

"I think you should leave." Kirsch declared. Ell turned her attention to him, giving him a doe-eyed look and running her hand down his bicep.

"Oh, my. What a strong man. Surely you don't find someone like me a threat, do you?" Ell winked. Kirsch seemed to shiver a bit, but he shook it off.

"Normally, you'd be a total hottie. But only cool girls are hotties, and you are like, so not cool." Kirsch claimed, puffing up his chest. Ell's face dropped and she looked like she was about to scratch his eyes out.

"You can't remove me. I've done nothing wrong." Ell argued.

"Um, actually," J.P. piped up, "as the owner, I am in my full rights to have you removed from my place of business for harassing both my staff and patrons. Mr. Kirsch, could you please escort this young woman off the premise in the most efficient way you deem possible."

" _Gladly_." Kirsch grinned, and in a fluid movement and a squeak from Ell, he scooped her up onto his shoulder.

"Put me down, you big buffoon! I've done enough Pilates to ensure I could crush your caveman head between my thighs like a _tomato_!" Ell screamed, helplessly hammering her fists into his back. Kirsch ignored her, kicking the door open and placing her firmly on the other side.

"We thank you for your partridge." Kirsch stated with a smile.

"Patronage." Mel corrected with an eye roll.

"Oh, and if you ever step foot in my establishment again, I will be forced to contact the proper authorities!" J.P. called after Ell just before Kirsch slammed the door in her face.

Carmilla finally relaxed, releasing her hold on Laura.

"Laura, I'm so sorry I told her about your dad. I had no idea she'd-"

"Don't." Laura said sharply. Carmilla felt her heart sink, and she was worried Laura was mad at her, but Laura shook her head and looked up at her with glossy eyes. "What I mean is… don't apologize. I know how she works."

Carmilla released a breath as Laura rested her arms on Carmilla's shoulders. Carmilla looked over at her co-workers – her _friends_ , and she nodded.

"Thank you, guys." Carmilla mumbled.

"Any time. That Ell is a piece of work." Mel scoffed.

"Good thing you found Laura instead." Kirsch stated. Carmilla couldn't agree more.

"Miss Karnstein. I think, given the circumstances, it would be understandable to pull Miss Hollis aside for a bit and sort out your feelings?" J.P. suggested.

"Yeah, bro. We got you covered." Kirsch announced. Carmilla gave them a grateful smile and she looked down at Laura.

"Come on, creampuff." Carmilla whispered. Laura nodded and allowed herself to be pulled from behind the bar all the way back to the storage closet again. "You okay?"

"Not even close." Laura shook her head, reaching up and cupping Carmilla's cheek. "How did you survive all those years with her?"

"The hope that something better would come along?" Carmilla sighed. Laura bit her lip.

"Did it?"

"What do you think?" Carmilla raised her eyebrow. Laura choked out half of a laugh and she leaned into Carmilla's chest.

"Thanks for not letting me, you know, go all Krav Maga on her. She wasn't worth the broken knuckles." Laura sighed.

"Honestly, for a moment there I was going to let you. Might've been fun, and I probably have enough money to post bail." Carmilla mused.

"Ugh, maybe next time." Laura muttered.

"Yeah, I'd rather not run into her. Ever again. Or even let her near you. She was… ruthless. I hope you don't believe her." Carmilla said gently.

"Believe what?" Laura questioned. "That I couldn't save my dad? She may have been ruthless, out of line, and a raging bad person, but she was right."

"You can't blame yourself, Laura. You literally gave up pieces of your body to give him a chance. You did all you could do, and he wouldn't want you beating yourself up like this." Carmilla cooed, stroking her hair.

"See, you say that. And deep down, I know you're right. It was out of my hands. Sometimes people die and… and there's nothing you can do." Laura whimpered. "I just had _so_ much hope, Carm."

"I know, sweetheart. I know." Carmilla whispered, holding her close like she had been the last two weeks.

The door to the storage closet opened slowly, and Mel poked her head in.

"Ugh, thank god you weren't fucking." Mel huffed. "Listen, Laura honey, the other customers that saw what happened feel bad for you and have rallied a bunch of money to buy you some drinks."

"Really?" Laura looked up, blinking. "That's so nice of them." She looked back at Carmilla. "Honestly, I could use a few drinks."

"Don't let me stop you, Cupcake." Carmilla smiled warmly. She gave Laura a light peck on the lips and shoved Laura toward the door. Laura looked back at her with a teary smile and slipped out beside Mel. Carmilla gave Mel a pointed look. "Don't let her get wasted."

"No promises." Mel gave a mock salute. "Are you just going to stay here? I thought you were done hiding in the closet."

"Ha ha." Carmilla rolled her eyes. "Inventory."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever you say. Just come out soon or I can't guarantee what kind of fun I'm going to get your girlfriend into." Mel smirked, closing the door behind her.

Carmilla sighed, pulling out her phone. Something about Ell's visit didn't seem right, beyond the obvious reasons. Carmilla knew there was always more than meets the eye with Ell, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Her hands shook slightly at the thought of the arrangement she was about to make, but Ell had gone for Laura personally, and desperate times…

"Mattie?"

" **Carmilla? I hope you're calling with the joyous news that you've finally completed a snippet of your work for me to read**."

Carmilla rolled her eyes.

"Forget the book, Mattie. I need your help." Carmilla said urgently.

" **Well, no offence schnookums, but I'd be able to help you far more with** _ **that snippet in hand**_."

Carmilla let out a groan.

"I said forget the book. Forget the agent role. Forget everything. I just need my sister right now. Please." Carmilla begged. There was silence over the phone for a moment.

" **You have her. What do you need**?" Mattie inquired. Carmilla took a deep breath.

"I need you to come with me to meet Mother."

Again, silence over the phone.

"… **And what would ever possess me to do that? Or** _ **you**_ **, in fact**?" Mattie scoffed.

"Believe me, she is the last person on earth I want to see. Well, second last." Carmilla muttered, thinking of Ell's recent intrusion. "Just, please, Mattie. Her and I have some… business."

" **Well then what exactly do you need me for**?" Mattie questioned.

"She respects you on some level, and we both know it. With you in the room… she might be more willing to listen. Please. I'll do anything. Just… do this for me, Mattie." Carmilla pleaded. She heard a long sigh on the other end.

" **Alright, my little monster. Now, tell me what this is all about**?"

* * *

Mel let Laura get wasted.

When Carmilla finally got off the phone with Mattie, she walked out to see Laura already stumbling all over the place. When Laura saw her, she sloppily leaped into her arms and started leaving kisses all over her face. Carmilla raised an eyebrow at Mel, who just shrugged.

At least she was having fun.

Carmilla took her home at the end of her shift and after a few instances of "no, Cupcake, you're far too intoxicated for sex right now", she put her to bed.

It ended up working out, because while Laura nursed her hangover the next morning, Carmilla slipped out to meet Mattie and her Mother. She didn't want Laura to know just yet. She knew her suspicions were a long shot and she didn't want to get Laura's hopes up. Besides, Laura would worry if she knew Carmilla was meeting with her Mother, and Laura had enough stresses in her life. No, it would have to be a conversation for another day.

Somehow, even with the sweat dripping down Carmilla's neck and her Mother's icy stares, Mattie's phenomenal negotiation skills convinced their Mother that if Carmilla was right, this could be a big case for her firm.

And so, in a shocking turn of events, Carmilla was once again working with her Mother. That night, when Laura was better, Carmilla curled up into her arms and said nothing the whole night. Luckily, Laura didn't ask why.

A few days later, it seemed that Carmilla's risk would indeed offer some rewards. She received a very simple e-mail from her Mother.

_Made a break through. Turns out you weren't as harebrained as I thought. Luckily, you weren't wasting my time. Meet me today in the father's hospital room. Text me as soon as you're there._

_-L.M._

Perhaps it was foolish to trust her Mother after everything, but the risk would be worth it. What could her Mother do to possibly tear both her and Laura down further?

Carmilla jumped at the sound of a knock on her door, nearly dropping her phone with the e-mail in the process. She sighed, walking up to her door and feeling thankful that she no longer had to worry about brownies with questionable substances on the other side.

Instead, she found a Cupcake.

"Hey, Carmilla. Is this a bad time?" Laura questioned, leaning in to give Carmilla a quick kiss. Carmilla blinked in confusion.

"Uh, no. Aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" Carmilla inquired. Laura only spent time at three places these days – BuzzFeed, the hospital, and anywhere that Carmilla was.

"Yeah. I was thinking… I know you have that thing where you want me to spend time alone with him, and I appreciate that, but… I was wondering if you'd come with me today? He's always asking when you're going to visit and, well, if I'm being honest, it's just easier with you there." Laura muttered, playing with Carmilla's fingers. Carmilla gave her a warm smile

"Actually, I was just about to text you to ask if I could meet you there." Carmilla explained, and Laura grinned.

"Look at us, on the same wavelength." She chuckled, pulling Carmilla into a kiss. Carmilla really wanted to relax into it, but the terrifying thought that she was putting everything in the hands of her Mother kept running through her mind. Of course Laura was attuned to Carmilla's body language and pulled back, concerned. "Hey, everything alright?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Carmilla murmured.

"You've been… really tense." Laura noted, digging her fingers into Carmilla's shoulders. Carmilla moaned gratefully at the action. Clearly Laura was right. "Ever since the night at the bar, with Ell… I figured that's what's been bothering you. I know it mustn't be pleasant knowing she can intrude on your life at any time. Maybe you should get a restraining order, or something."

"Anywhere that woman is from me could never be far enough." Carmilla muttered. "Unfortunately I can't prove she's a danger to me or the people I care about. Yet."

Laura looked at Carmilla affectionately, cupping her cheek. Carmilla leaned into the touch and Laura's thumb soothingly running over her cheekbone.

"I hope she never goes that far." Laura whispered, and Carmilla closed her eyes. Perhaps Ell already had.

"Alright, lets go see your dad." Carmilla stated, taking Laura's hand and shutting the door behind them.

Taking a chance on the woman who made her life hell growing up was worth the risk.

If it could prevent Ell from hurting someone she cared about, it was worth the risk.

* * *

"Dad? Dad!"

"Laura, he's fine. He's asleep." Carmilla placed a hand gently on Laura's shoulder. "See? The monitors."

Laura nodded, taking a step back from her father. She released a shuddered breath.

"Ugh, sorry. He's been sleeping a lot lately. I don't think he has a lot of strength to stay awake for long periods of time anymore." Laura mumbled, gingerly sitting down. "He's usually like this whenever I visit him now, and I'm just so aware of his condition that I always freak out because what if…"

Carmilla stood behind Laura, resting her hand on her shoulder and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"He's still got some time left, Cupcake." Carmilla tried to assure her. Laura shook her head, biting her lip.

"It's not enough." Laura whimpered.

"I know." Carmilla breathed, nodding slowly. Laura reached up to her shoulder, placing her hand over Carmilla's.

"See why I needed you here?" Laura sniffed. "What am I going to do when I can't see his smile anymore, or hear his stupid jokes and his warnings to stay away from boys even though he knows I'm gay?" She released an emotional chuckle, wiping her eyes.

Carmilla shifted herself to lean down and wrap her arms around Laura's torso. Laura leaned her head into Carmilla's arm, reaching up to rub Carmilla's forearm gently with her thumb.

"The universe is so cruel at times." Carmilla murmured, kissing the top of Laura's head.

"Tell me about it." Laura scoffed, leaning back into Carmilla's chest. "At least it gave me you."

Carmilla stiffened her hold around Laura. If Carmilla was some sort of astronomical compensation for Laura losing her wife and dad, then Carmilla had a few bones to pick with the universe. It wasn't fair. Laura deserved far more happiness than Carmilla felt she could ever supply.

"Carm…" Laura breathed. "I know what you're thinking. You're more than enough for me. Okay?"

Carmilla bit her lip, turning to rest her cheek on top of Laura's head.

"Maybe I was thinking about buying your brand of shampoo. It smells delectable." Carmilla muttered. Laura giggled slightly, shaking her head.

"Well still. You're more than enough." Laura repeated. Carmilla sunk her head into Laura's neck, pressing her lips against the smooth skin.

"I love you." She sighed against Laura's pulse point, hoping the words would sink into her veins and pump straight to her heart.

"I love you, too." Laura murmured.

"How touching."

Both Laura and Carmilla whipped their heads toward the voice that came from the door, where Carmilla's Mother stood. Laura tensed immediately, standing in front of Carmilla protectively just like she had with Ell.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing here?!" Laura challenged, reaching behind her to take Carmilla's hand. Carmilla's Mother cocked an eyebrow.

"Why, my daughter invited me, of course. Did she not inform you?" Lilita inquired smoothly.

"She… did?" Laura gaped, turning to face Carmilla. "Is this true?"

"Uh… yeah…" Carmilla mumbled, silently cursing herself. Maybe she should've warned Laura of her Mother dropping in today, at least.

"What? I don't understand. Why?" Laura questioned. She didn't seem mad, just baffled.

"I had a good reason, I promise." Carmilla stated firmly, taking Laura by the shoulders. She looked over Laura at her Mother. "I _did_ have a good reason, right?"

"We shall see in a moment." Lilita stated, still looking amused at Laura's confusion. Laura shook her head.

"I… I'm so lost right now." Laura groaned.

Before Laura could lament her confusion further, Dr. Vordenberg rushed into the room. He paused, looking over the other occupants of the room.

"What's going on here? I got an urgent page to come see this patient immediately. But the monitor shows he's fine! Could somebody please tell me what's happening?" Dr. Vordenberg demanded.

"You tell me, buddy." Laura muttered bitterly. Clearly she did not like being left out of the loop.

"Relax, Doctor. You are simply the first guest to arrive." Lilita gestured to the room. Dr. Vordenberg blinked in confusion.

" _Guest_?" He sputtered.

"But of course. I'm the one behind the page you received, which is one of three I sent out. I had to get your attention somehow." Lilita explained coolly. Dr. Vordenberg scoffed.

"I'm sorry, Frau, but of you wish you make an appointment, you'll have to book one like everybody else! Now, I have patients to attend to." Dr. Vordenberg grumbled, trying to shuffle back out. Lilita stood in his way.

"Now, now. It'd be rude to leave our little meeting before we've thoroughly discussed the matter at hand." Lilita informed.

"This… this is most unconventional!" Dr. Vordenberg proclaimed.

"Uncle Vordenberg? Why'd you call me here?"

Ell froze as she walked into the room, and a smirk formed on Lilita's face.

"Mrs. Morgan?" Ell gaped.

"Greetings, Ell." Lilita nodded. Ell looked across the room and her face dropped into terror as she started to back out. "Ah, ah, ah. Careful, now. You wouldn't want to run from the room and look _guilty_ of anything, would you?" Lilita questioned and looked over at Vordenberg, who was red in the face from Ell's arrival. "Same to you, Doctor."

Both Ell and Dr. Vordenberg froze, and Laura looked around incredulously.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, **no**. This is _not_ happening!" Laura exclaimed, pointing at both Ell and Lilita rapidly. "What are you two doing here? What are you planning, and in my father's hospital room of all places!"

"Patience, darling. All will become clear soon." Lilita stated.

" _Seriously?_ No, I'm not just going to wait around while you two hatch whatever-"

Laura fell silent at Carmilla wrapping her arms around her waist, pulling her close while she rested her chin on her shoulder and leaned into her ear.

"Just trust me, Cupcake." Carmilla whispered. Laura hesitated for a moment before relaxing into Carmilla's embrace, reaching up to tighten Carmilla's arms around her in a silent _okay_.

Carmilla could almost hear the click of the lightbulb going on in Laura's brain.

"Wait, did you call him _uncle_?" Laura gasped at Ell.

"She _did_ refer to him as such, didn't she?" Lilita smirked. Dr. Vordenberg and Ell gave each other tense looks.

"Oh… oh my god…" Laura breathed, starting to realize.

"Ah! It seems our final guest has arrived!" Lilita declared, opening her arms wide as a man walked into the room.

Carmilla had to squint at him, because she could swear he looked like J.P.'s long lost twin – if J.P. had a clean shave and a haircut.

"Lilita Morgan!" The man exclaimed joyfully.

"William." Lilita regarded him with a nod. The man, William apparently, observed the room with mild interest.

"I have to say, you certainly keep me on my toes. Is there a lawsuit I should know about?" William inquired.

"Quite possibly." Lilita stated. William looked troubled.

"Well, we can't have that." William muttered.

"Indeed, but I'm certain we can clear this up quickly." Lilita assured. "Ell, dear, do you know who this man is?"

"Uh, no?" Ell blinked, looking nervous.

"You know nothing despite being employed at this hospital. Shame." Lilita shook her head. "Maybe Dr. Vordenberg can elaborate?"

"He's… he's the chair of the Board of Directors at this hospital." Dr. Vordenberg trembled, practically going blue in the face.

"Thank you." Lilita replied. "William and I are quite well acquainted, seeing as my firm represents this hospital. It's my job to defend the hospital in any and all case that may seek to besmirch it."

"And I assume if you called me here, you found something incriminating?" William inquired.

"You assume correctly." Lilita strode towards the end of Mr. Hollis' bed. "You see this man here? His organs are slowly degenerating due to asbestos exposure. He was signed up for experimental regeneration treatment, headed by Dr. Vordenberg here."

"I'm listening." William nodded.

"Now tell me, Dr. Vordenberg, you informed his daughter here that the treatments had failed and there was nothing you could do. Was this information correct, or should we pull up the data once again just to double check?" Lilita questioned. Dr. Vordenberg's lower lip trembled, and he shrunk back against the wall.

"N-no! The information I gave to young Miss Hollis was not correct!" Dr. Vordenberg admitted, looking ashamed. Ell shifted her feet and a small gasp escaped Laura's mouth. Carmilla tightened her hold around her even more.

"Interesting. You can see, William, how having an esteemed doctor on staff who would withhold information that would kill your patients could be very damaging to your hospital." Lilita informed.

"I certainly can see that." William furrowed his brow, turning to Dr. Vordenberg. "Vordie, I always respected your diligent practice. Whatever would possess you to do such a thing?"

Dr. Vordenberg raised a shaky finger to point at Ell.

"Her! My niece! She… she demanded that I let this patient die in order to get revenge on _those two_!" Dr. Vordenberg announced, moving his arm to point at Carmilla and Laura. "She was… very convincing."

"Convincing _how_?" Lilita interrogated. Dr. Vordenberg shrunk even more and stared at the ground.

"She had pictures of my… infidelity." Dr. Vordenberg muttered.

Carmilla had to roll her eyes. _Of course_ it was infidelity, the thing that started the whole chain of events in the first place. _Of course_.

Also, how old was Dr. Vordenberg? 103? Gross.

"Hmm, I see." Lilita mused.

"Please don't fire me." Dr. Vordenberg begged.

"I'm afraid you don't give me much of a choice, Vordie. You screwed up big time and I don't want that reflecting poorly on the hospital." William stated.

"Although, if you were to testify against Ell in court about her blackmailing you to kill a patient, then perhaps your job could be saved… but you would still need to cure that patient, you understand." Lilita explained.

"Yes! Of course!" Dr. Vordenberg nodded rapidly. Ell gaped at him.

"Uncle! How could you?" Ell gasped.

"I'm sorry, dear, but you… are a terrible person." Dr. Vordenberg stated. "I should've never agreed to letting a patient die, no matter what you held over my head."

"Oh, sweet Ell. You still believed you were invincible even when an amateur brought us both down last time. You tempted fate again, and now you're going to jail. How tragic." Lilita crooned.

A look of pure horror flashed across Ell's face, and she sprinted from the room.

"I'm on it." William declared, pulling out his phone. He muttered a few words to security about not letting a girl matching Ell's description leave the building before hanging up. "Thank you, Lilita. That whole thing could've been disastrous."

"Merely doing my job." Lilita waved him off.

"Uh…" Came a voice from the bed. They all turned toward the voice to see Mr. Hollis looking awake and very confused. "Not that I mind being so popular, but what just happened?"

"Dad!" Laura jumped from Carmilla's arms only to wrap her arms around her dad instead. "You're going to live!"

"That's nice, honey." Mr. Hollis mumbled. "Wait, what?"

Laura looked up, teary-eyed.

"You can save him, right? That's what you said?" Laura questioned.

"Go on, tell her, Vordie." William urged. Dr. Vordenberg nodded firmly.

"Now that uh, my hands are untied, I can conclusively say that we have the means to regenerate all organs that are currently failing, thanks to all the samples donated by young Miss Hollis." Dr. Vordenberg gestured to Laura. "It will take some time, but yes. He will live."

Laura burst into tears, clinging onto her father while he stared in disbelief. Carmilla rested a comforting hand on Laura's back, and she couldn't stop the grin on her face or some of the happy tears that slipped down her own cheeks. She had done it. She supplied some of the happiness that Laura deserved.

Well, she hadn't done it alone.

"Ah, I'm glad this worked out." William sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I obviously have some matters to attend to concerning this. And Vordie, you better get on applying that treatment for this man. Enough time has been wasted already."

"Yes, sir!" Dr. Vordenberg agreed, and they both left the room together. Carmilla's eyes fell upon her Mother, who gave her a curt nod. Carmilla left Laura and her father's heartfelt moment and followed her Mother into the hall.

"This doesn't change anything. I'll still never forgive you for how you treated me." Carmilla grumbled.

"I wouldn't expect it too." Her Mother scoffed. Carmilla let out a sigh.

"But thank you… for helping Laura. You didn't have to." Carmilla relented.

"I'll have you know I happen to _like_ Laura. She has a certain amount of fire and drive in her that reminds me of myself. It's a shame she has that whole pure-hearted business going on, or she could truly be great." She commented. Carmilla snorted.

"So basically you like everyone but me." Carmilla rolled her eyes. Lilita gave her a small smirk.

"I'll still be your lawyer, you know. I'm sure authors deal with plenty of plagiarism accusations." Lilita offered. Carmilla looked at the ground and shifted her feet, because as much as her Mother pulled through today, she had yet to fully trust her – or want her back into her life.

"I'll think about it." Carmilla mumbled.

"Very well." Lilita complied. "I suppose I'll see you in court for Ell's trial. Your added testimony of her treatment of you could put her away for a very long time – as long as you leave my involvement out of it."

Carmilla's eyes went wide, because perhaps Ell being locked up in jail _was_ far enough away from her. Better than any restraining order.

"Yeah. I'll be there." Carmilla confirmed. Her Mother smirked again.

"I have to say, Carmilla, I very much approve of your actions that led to today. Keep it up, and I might actually be proud of you one day." Lilita stated before walking away. Carmilla clenched her jaw.

God, she hated that woman.

Carmilla wandered back into the hospital room, where both Laura and her dad were now crying and hugging. Carmilla smiled at the sight as she approached, and Mr. Hollis noticed her first. He opened an arm, beckoning her. When Laura saw, she turned around and yanked Carmilla into their group hug, practically smothering her in their clutches.

And Carmilla decided she'd take this family over the Ice Queen any day.

* * *

Carmilla gasped, grasping at the covers around her in a fruitless attempt to keep herself grounded. She arched her back, moaning out Laura's name for what was probably the millionth time before a release of pleasure wracked her body, which soon collapsed back down against the mattress in exhaustion.

With her chest heaving from her heavy breathing and her heart pounding in her skull, Carmilla slowly came down from her high. She felt Laura start to kiss her way up her stomach and chest, and she opened her eyes when she sensed Laura's face finally hovering over hers.

"So, did I do the teeth thing right?" Laura giggled, rubbing her hand gently against Carmilla's chest.

"Mm, you're quite possibly better at it than I am, Cupcake." Carmilla cooed.

"That's impossible." Laura scoffed.

"Want me to demonstrate it again?" Carmilla raised an eyebrow. Laura bit her lip, looking extremely tempted.

"Maybe later. I'm still exhausted from the last time you went down on me." Laura sighed.

"We have been going for a while." Carmilla agreed.

"Oh yeah. Now you know helping to save a girl's father is a _great_ panty dropper." Laura giggled, kissing Carmilla tenderly. Carmilla released a small laugh against Laura's lips and pushed her back.

"Hey, it's your DNA that's saving him, cutie." Carmilla pointed out.

"I mean, yeah, but if you hadn't figure out what Ell…" Laura trailed off, looking away. "I'm so stupid. I can't believe I figured out that your Mother and Ell were stealing your money but I couldn't see how Ell was killing my dad."

"How could you have known? The only way I even suspected it was because I knew her uncle got her a job at the hospital, and my years being with her gave me the intel that she had an Austrian side of the family I hadn't met, and Dr. Vordenberg was clearly… foreign. Then Ell kind of gave herself away when she wanted to rub her revenge in our faces at the bar." Carmilla mused. "Even then, it was a long shot. My Mother wouldn't have even attempted it if it weren't for Mattie. We got lucky."

Laura shook her head. "I can't believe someone could be so… evil."

"Ell is certainly twisted. I can't say I'll be sad to see her behind bars." Carmilla shrugged. Laura ran her hand through Carmilla's hair.

"I'm just so grateful you were able to break away from her. You overcame her, Carm. She doesn't own you. She can't hurt you or anyone anymore." Laura murmured, kissing along Carmilla's jaw. Carmilla closed her eyes, a lump in her throat.

"I became free from her the day I met you." Carmilla sighed, wrapping her arms around Laura. Laura mumbled a soft, affectionate sound against Carmilla's skin in response. "I've been thinking… about my writing muse."

Laura leaned up, looking Carmilla over curiously. "You finally found some inspiration?"

"I think so." Carmilla confirmed. "I know I said I didn't want to dip into the autobiographical pool this time, but… maybe there's room for one more book like that."

"What're you thinking?" Laura questioned.

"I'm thinking I want to depict my experience in an abusive relationship. Ell may have never hit me, but she was a toxic, harmful and negative presence in my life for a long time. Even after I left her. I think that's important to write about." Carmilla explained. Laura seemed to roll the thought over in her head.

"Yeah, I agree. Plus, there's not a lot of novels describing the struggles of an abusive relationship between queer women. I think it's important to show all sides – that not just straight couples can face that problem. I'm sure you'll help someone feel not as alone, just like with Queered And Feathered." Laura stated. Carmilla's heart swelled, and Laura's encouragement sealed the deal.

"At least Mattie will be happy. And I hope you don't relate to this one as much, Cupcake." Carmilla murmured. Laura smiled down at her, shaking her head.

"Not a chance." Laura cooed, kissing Carmilla again. When she pulled back, her eyes were overflowing with affection and love. "Seriously, Carm. Thank you for today. Although I wish you had maybe let me in on a _little bit_ of what was going on…"

"Sorry." Carmilla flushed.

"But it still… it means more than you can even imagine. Like I was saying before, if you hadn't figured out Ell's plan, then my dad… he would've died. That's **huge**. You saved him, Carm, and that wasn't a small feat. You actually went to your Mother, _your Mother_ , to do this for me, and I…" Laura sniffed, tears filling her eyes.

Carmilla reached up, cupping Laura's face and wiping a stray tear away. Laura nodded, swallowing some emotion down before continuing.

"I don't think I can ever repay you for what you've done. And not just this. For… everything. I hope you realize what a positive impact you have on my life, and I love you, every part of you, even your broody, sarcastic, snarky parts. But also your amazing, loving, compassionate, gentle parts, and you're just… you're…"

Laura choked out a sob, and the tears started falling freely down her cheeks as she cried, doing her best to muffle her blubbering. Carmilla cupped her face with both hands, massaging along Laura's jaw soothingly.

"Hey… hey, it's okay. I'm here." Carmilla murmured, leaning up to give Laura some gentle kisses. Laura sat up a bit, wiping her eyes frantically with her arms.

"Sorry. Just experiencing some… celestial sensations." Laura chuckled through the tears. Carmilla let out a laugh, pulling Laura back down for a deep kiss, a physical demonstration to show Laura that she was here to stay.

As her lips moved slowly against Laura's, she thought about how she wanted to be close to Laura, always. She wanted to wake up with her every day. She wanted to come home and for Laura to be there. She never wanted to be apart from Laura more than she had to. She wanted Laura and her home to be the same place.

"Hey, Carmilla?" Laura murmured against Carmilla's lips.

"Hmm?" Carmilla sighed, too busy drinking Laura in to respond properly. She felt Laura's lips curl into a smile.

"Move in with me?"

Still on the same wavelength.

**Author's Note:**

> The alternative title for this fic was "Guardian Angel 2: There Will Be Ell To Pay"
> 
> Eheheh.
> 
> Uh, right. Well, that's it. I hope you know this sequel was never supposed to happen. The only reason it did is because SOMEONE (me) forgot to make Laura and Carmilla have a conversation about certain things that I thought to be a big plot hole in the first one. So thank slightly inebriated waitwhathuh for editing last time and totally not seeing that part of the story was missing. I hope this was all worth it.
> 
> I can finally rest easy at night.
> 
> As usual, give me your words if you have words to give me. Just let me love you.


End file.
